


The First Time...

by AndOrZebra



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Canon Lesbian Relationship, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Sexual Content, Short & Sweet, drabbles...they're Jathena drabbles, prepare yourself
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-03-14 12:35:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3410846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndOrZebra/pseuds/AndOrZebra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Janey/Athena relationship 'firsts'. Each chapter includes two short stories, one from each character's POV, not in chronological order. Weekly updates (at this stage).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Song and Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> So I have about 20 of these ideas lined up, get ready, I can't get enough of these two.

**Song**

_The first time Janey hears Athena sing, she walks into a door._

 

It’s late in the afternoon and a loud whirring fills the apartment. Janey’s feet step back and forth in time with the movements of her arm as she vacuums the floor. Months worth of dust and grime fly around her socks, disturbed from their resting places under the table and behind the couch. She pushes her bangs back, bandaid wrapped fingers teasing her scalp in a momentary itch, and tries to flick the machine off with her toe.

When this fails, she whacks the ancient Dahl model against the wall. 

The whirring ceases.

Janey pauses and breathes in, basking in the new cleanliness of the apartment lounge. She smiles when the sound of running water bursts to life down the hall, and guesses Athena has finally extracted herself from her armour in order to shower and sooth tense muscles.

As Janey walks toward the utility closet, the thought of offering a massage to the freshly showered assassin crosses her mind. She presses the hatch lock, with a little too much force, while the idea rearranges itself and she can almost feel the hot water running down her back as she pictures stepping into the shower behind Athena... 

The sensation of wet skin under her palms, a ragged moan from the shorter woman-

Janey’s foot collides with a bucket, bringing her back to reality, and she shakes the previous thoughts away, knowing how it usually took a while for Athena to relax back into cohabitation after solitary missions. She needed her space; she deserved it.

Making her way to the left, and only knocking over two more things, Janey finds an empty spot in the corner for the vacuum and tucks it away. Though, just as her thoughts turn to dinner, she spots a small hunk of metal on the shelf at eye-level. Its form is familiar in the dimness of the closet. Picking it up, she exits into the light of the hallway and recognises the deformed Oz Kit in her hands, the first one she’d given to Athena almost a year ago.

A hum of pleasure forms in the back of her throat as she walks towards the workroom, dinner momentarily forgotten. She passes both the bedroom and bathroom, eyes focused on the lines of the device in her palms. She’s about two steps away from her destination when she hears it-

Singing.

Janey’s feet don’t register the shock as quickly as her ears, and her slackened jaw hits the workroom door with a dull thud, along with the rest of her face.

“Shit-” she staggers back, dropping the Oz Kit and grabbing her nose tightly. A hiss escapes between her teeth.

Blinking away the pain, Janey stills when she realises the singing hasn’t stopped.

It’s low, husky, and a little unsure, barely audible over the sound of the water. A strange fluttering tickles in her chest as she moves to hover by the bathroom. The words fade away, replaced by the clicking of a shampoo bottle, before returning deep and rich.

The breath catches in Janey’s throat. 

Concentrating, she tries to place the tune, the feeling in her chest gaining strength with every note. She suddenly remembers the lullaby from her childhood, the same one she’d sung some months ago when Athena’s head had been in her lap, cheek pressed into her stomach, battling the first fever of her life.

Though, despite Janey’s terrible rendition of the tune, it’d helped Athena slip into an uneasy sleep, fingers clutching at her shirt. They’d never spoke of it; Janey hadn’t thought the assassin remembered much of anything from those few delirious days. 

Though here she was, voice caressing every syllable, coaxing Janey’s heartbeat into a faster tempo and causing tears to prick at her eyes.

She’s never heard something so beautiful in her life. 

 

* * *

 

**Sleep**

_The first time Athena sleeps peacefully, is in Janey’s arms._

 

Athena awakes with a small intake of breath, eyes flicking around her surroundings in a force of habit.

She can’t see much over the curve of Janey’s neck, where her face is currently nestled, and relies on her other senses to scope out any danger. She finds her receptors for touch are being overwhelmed.

They aren’t even in bed, or anywhere comfortable for that matter. The bones of Athena’s shoulder and hip press into the hard floor, and one of Janey’s shirts provides little cushioning, she feels the hem barely reaching her mid-thigh. Legs are tangled with hers, smooth and bare between her knees, and the swell of breasts rise and fall beneath her forearms. A collarbone beneath her hand and an incredible warmth against her front as the two arms at her back draw her closer.

Athena forces down the instinct screaming in the back of her mind, telling her she’s trapped, she can’t escape, they’ve put her in the cage.

Again.

She breathes deeply and focuses on the smell at Janey’s neck, machine oil, sweat, the lingering tang of arousal floating around them both. The taste of salt is under her lips.

She listens to the gentle puff of air brushing her scalp, the distant tick of the clock in the kitchen, the thump of Janey’s heart beneath one palm.

Athena ascertains and processes all of this within seconds of reaching consciousness. 

And it’s new.

Not once has she awoken in such an embrace, never has she managed to get through a night without kicking Janey away, or lashing out with her fists and forcing the blonde to escape to the other side of the bed to avoid injury. Never has she slept and only surfaced at the break of day, rather than coming up for air with every nightmare, trying to choke down the screams.

Janey’s breathing looses its even pace and the lanky body curled tight around Athena shifts, muscles stretching a little, and something between a groan and a hum resonates in the throat beneath Athena’s cheek. She savours every second as Janey wakes.

When she feels soft lips against her forehead in greeting, Athena ignores what she thinks is a screwdriver digging into her side and decides she’s rested in worse places.

Janey’s arm tightens over her waist and a thumb rubs gently across her spine.

God, this is definitely not the worst sleeping arrangement she’s found herself in.


	2. Death and Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this chapter is a little longer than the rest, wanted to indulge myself before term so...enjoy!! :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeww, so we'll see how things go with the 'weekly updates', uni term just started and things are looking pretty hectic. But rest assured, this will be completed!!

**Death**

_The first time Janey witnesses one of Athena’s deaths, she’s quickly met with her own._

It was supposed to have been a routine junk run, mentioned casually in conversation to Athena the day before, one which she’d had every intent on completing herself.

Janey described the tip-off from Pickle over dinner, her junker fingers twitching, voice unreservedly excited. A bunch of Hyperion supply crates, containing who knows what, had crash-landed some days ago. It was probably the most exciting prospective haul she’d had in over a year.

“If they crashed earlier in the week, why has it taken so long for the information to get to you?” Athena had asked, all logical and concerned, finishing off a bite of Kraggon steak.

“‘Cause they landed over in VorSol, so no one really noticed till yesterday,” Janey explained, using the slang name and not noticing the stiffening of Athena’s shoulders. “Reckon I’ll probs head out early in the morning-”

“I’m escorting you,” Athena had cut in, no questions asked, no telling Janey she shouldn’t go, only offering to help.

To protect. 

So here they were, crouching behind their upturned Moon-Zoomy, smoke billowing from its engine and obscuring their vision, surrounded by party of forgotten Legion Eternals. It seemed no one, not even Hyperion, had bothered to kill them off in the two years since the Vault.

The bloody drongos were currently firing on her and Athena as if someone were still giving them orders, and Athena shoots back with a vengeance, while Janey wishes she were a better shot, hopelessly missing with every fire of Athena’s spare pistol

Suddenly, a laser beam slips through a gap in the car’s roll cage and past Janey’s shield.

A burning sensation spreads across her shoulder and an involuntary yell escapes her as she tries to stop the flames with her hand. Quick as anything, Athena pauses in her gunfire and turns to her, movements agile and almost graceful as she lifts the Aspis over them. She stabs Janey with a Rejuvenator before roughly smothering the flames with her headscarf. 

Janey grits her teeth, waiting for the red liquid to take hold, ignoring the feeling of her skin being eaten away, and focuses on how fiercely beautiful Athena looks, even in the heat of battle.

Sharp blue eyes flick up to meet hers.

Okay, especially in the heat of battle.

“Seems we’re kinda cactus,” Janey tries to laugh against the pain.

Athena’s response is to let go of Janey’s arm, lob a grenade over the car hood, and turn back with a familiar pinch to her eyebrows. It’s the face she always makes before saying something Janey won’t like, and Janey is pretty sure she already knows what-

“You have to run, Janey, I’ll cover you,” Athena looks down to reload her shotgun with one hand, “try and make it to Sterwin’s old camp, when I come back I’ll meet you there.”

She speaks in a tone that doesn’t leave room for argument.

Janey tries anyway. How can she not?

“That’s suicide! Athena, you don’t have-” she’s interrupted by gunshot as Athena fires at a soldier approaching on their flank, metal pellets tearing through his head in a kill-shot. Janey grips Athena’s forearm, her breath catching at the decisive clarity shining in those eyes.

The smoke begins to dissipate around them and a shit-load more enemies seem to appear.

Janey keeps her attention on Athena.

“I renewed my subscription, remember?” she implores, voice uncharacteristically desperate, hating the thought of what’s probably about to happen, “You don’t need to-”

“Yes, I do,” Athena says with finality. She extracts herself from Janey’s grip and pushes her away, “Now, run!” 

Janey is left with her lover’s scarf still in her hands as Athena throws her last grenade and steps out into the open.

The singularity pulls the soldiers together till they’re a bundle of wriggling limbs some fifty meters away. Athena faces them head-on, instantly creating the opportunity for Janey to slip away unnoticed, free from the pain of death and horror of rebirth.

Except, she doesn’t. 

She can’t.

For while her body is in flight mode, her feet are frozen to the ground, eyes following the wisps of Athena’s hair as they brush across her temple in the explosive blast wave.

Time seems to slow and Janey is forced to watch the barely damaged Eternals turn on Athena, guns firing brightly, ripping into the assassin’s shield. Her grip on the scarf tightens, the only movement she seems to be able to make, and Athena manages to take down two soldiers in well-aimed critical hits.

It doesn’t take long for Athena’s shield to deplete and her forearm lifts as the Aspis is reactivated. She never ceases fire, blood spraying across her face and knee shuddering under the tight beam of a laser.

Her bullets run out.

She drops her gun, draws her blade and then, oh and then-

Athena looks back, her eyes locking with Janey’s.

Surprise on her face morphs into horror. 

“RUN!”

It’s a silent command that Janey can’t hear over the pounding of her own heart, but it forces her foot forward a little. Not fast enough.

Athena’s face contorts in a snarl, and she swings her arm, Xiphos slicing across the chest of the nearest soldier, the Aspis blocking a shot aimed at her head. 

She lives up to her gladiator title.

And she dies like one too, standing her ground till her last breath, body being perforated with gunfire, continuing to strike with her sword even on her knees.

The taste of blood floods Janey’s mouth, teeth piercing her lip, as she sees the Aspis fail and lasers tear at Athena’s chest. They skim over her face, chunks of flesh melting to the bone. One finally hits her forehead.

The orange beam sprays out the back of her skull, taking her life with it, and Athena’s body crumples to the ground, disintegrating instantly. 

Shocked, Janey doesn’t even have time to retch before she feels the first shot to her torso, slicing into her hip. Another strikes her leg and she staggers as the muscles of her calf are eaten away. She looks up to see the remaining Eternals closing in, purple light dripping from every orifice, and Janey knows she is dead.

Somehow she thinks to close her eyes before they kill her, the same as they did Athena.

She hasn’t regenerated in years, and it hurts.

Shit, it hurts.

 

* * *

 

**Desire**

_The first time Athena sees Janey in lingerie, she nearly chokes on her cereal._

 

The giant thermostat is broken, and the whole of Concordia swelters under the relentless heat pouring from the vents of every wall. 

Athena sits in her underwear, black singlet covering her torso, thighs sticking to the chair beneath them. Her spoon swirls around in her bowl, pushing sticky, bland chunks into one another and along the edge of white porcelain. She lifts another mouthful to her lips, impartial to the cardboard taste DAHL rations were known for, and chews slowly. 

Energy is energy, no matter the form. 

Unless Janey is cooking of course, then things always tend to become ‘creative’. Sometimes it seems like the blonde’s life mission is to improve the taste of the widely available (probably expired) rations, or at least make them a little more exciting.

However, she rarely dabbles in breakfast.

Janey Springs is not a morning person.

Or so Athena has figured out over the last six months, she herself always rising at the crack of dawn to bathe and eat, usually having to wait around for Janey to roll out of bed so she can say goodbye. It was somehow more satisfying to say farewell when the junker’s eyes were clear and alert, lips responsive and only a little sloppy with the last vestiges of sleep.

Clink.

Athena’s spoon hits the bottom of the bowl and she scrapes another mound of cereal onto it, savouring the cool liquid left behind on her tongue. She resists the urge to hold the bowl against her face.

Her need to get out of the spaceport and into the cold vacuum of Elpis’ surface is strong, and for once it’s not simply because she hasn’t shot anyone in the last 48 hours.

A bead of sweat trickles down her neck.

Enough.

Athena quickly scoops up the last of the brown mush, deciding she’s going to have to settle for leaving while Janey is still in the clutches of sleep. Goodbye kisses be damned, she’s practically about to melt.

Of course it’s just as the stainless steel passes between her lips, imitation milk dribbling into her mouth, that Janey chooses to walk out of the hall and into the kitchen.

In her underwear. 

Which, given the temperature, isn’t surprising. However this is different.

She’s wearing lingerie. 

Fuck.

Athena suddenly forgets how to swallow, cereal getting caught in the back of her throat, and she is reduced to a coughing fit as the taller woman approaches.

“You right?” Janey asks, voice a little rough, hand moving to rub Athena’s back.

Athena nods at her bowl, gulping the food down, and takes a second to compose herself before flicking her eyes to the edge of the table where pale thighs begin.

She doesn’t bother to hide her stare as she follows the smooth skin upward to a pair of lace panties. They’re cut to grace just under the lines of protruding hipbones, coloured blue so dark its almost black, pink under layer exposed in a manner that draws her eyes back down toward- 

Forcing her gaze the other way, Athena notes how softly the material hugs the curve of scarred hips, before skimming her eyes up a toned stomach, watching ribs expand a little with each breath.

A light sheen of sweat glistens over the expanse of Janey’s torso and Athena can’t help the tongue swiping across her lip as she reaches Janey’s chest, where a matching bra dips low and pushes rounded breasts closer together, accentuating the mounds and making Athena appreciate them in a way she never has before.

A silk ribbon stretches up from the edge of each cup, over collarbones and around the back of Janey’s neck in a halter style, a small bow of the same material catches Athena’s eye where it rests in the centre of the bra.

The whole image sends a rush through her, and there’s a definite throb between her legs. Sure, Athena was never taught the standard societal ideas of what ‘beauty’ and ‘sexy’ are, nor does she believe that appeal is anything but subjective, no, she relies on what her body tells her.

On the increase of her heartbeat, the shortness of breath, on the desire suddenly pooling in her lower stomach.

Athena is attracted to Janey no matter what she’s wearing, but she’s damn sure this is what any sane person would categorise as ‘sexy’.

Her gaze finally meets Janey’s, and she sees both humour and a little smugness reflected there.

“Like what ya see, Vault Hunter?” Janey asks with a grin.

“I…um,” Athena looks her up and down once more, words not quite working in her mouth, “W-what are you wearing?”

Janey’s fingers press into the skin between Athena’s shoulder blades as she laughs, and the hand drops away when she moves further into the kitchen. She begins making her own breakfast, and Athena struggles to concentrate on her answer, entranced by the new view when Janey bends down.

“I haven’t done the washing in like forever, and these were the only underwear I had left sooo, y’know,” she explains, putting bread into the toaster, “I never wear ‘em ‘cause they’re uncomfy as shit.”

Athena can’t fathom why she is making toast in this heat.

Janey turns to her, hip resting against the bench and arms crossed as the bread cooks, “Plus, they were a really creepy gift from that Deadlift bloke. I only kept them ‘cause they’re kinda expensive.” She shrugs, “Probs gonna throw them out though, they just take up space.”

Athena swallows, focused on the way Janey’s forearms are pressing up against her chest, and manages to nod, brain busy planning her next three moves. She executes them as the toast pops.

Stand.

She rises, thighs peeling off her chair, while Janey tends to her food.

Walk.

Athena strides forward, bare feet silent on the metal floor, and stops behind Janey. She slips her hands around the junker’s hips, fingers smoothing over lacy material and her grip tightens alongside the catch in her own breath. She tugs to turn Janey around, the blonde obliges, bitten piece of toast in hand.

“Yeah, ‘Thena?” Janey asks around her mouthful of food. She smiles with fake innocence.

Kiss.

Athena watches the subtle shift of Janey’s throat as she swallows, before leaning up to press their lips together roughly, crumbs on the corner of Janey’s mouth rubbing against her cheek. She doesn’t waste time, diving in hot and heavy, her breath shallow with want. Janey smiles against her, responding in kind as Athena shifts a hand to the back of her neck, and pulls them closer at the hip.

Janey’s smile falters, replaced by a groan. Athena takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, tongue caressing everything it touches. God, the things she wants to do to this woman…

Janey’s hands finally seem to make use of themselves and Athena feels palms at her hips, long fingers reaching around to grip her backside, encouraging the rolling motion she can’t help. The kiss progresses quickly, desire growing till the heat between them becomes unbearable, and Athena starts to palm Janey’s breast through that fucking incredible bra, rubbing her thigh against the woman’s core in a hard, drawn-out motion.

A guttural moan escapes Janey’s lips, ending in a whimper as Athena repeats the motion.

Athena opens her eyes when the blonde pulls away, her fingers pausing where they had been about to undo the clasp behind Janey’s back. Their foreheads touch, chests pressed together, and Athena becomes lost in a dark, hungry gaze.

“’Spose I’m not throwing these out then?” Janey breathes, smile tugging at her mouth. 

Athena leans forward to take Janey’s bottom lip between hers; swiping her tongue across the swollen flesh, keen for things to continue.“It’s your choice,” she states, voice low.

Janey laughs, moving back and ruining the moment a little.

“Might as well I guess, they might come in useful…” she replies, eyebrows lifting suggestively. 

Really.

Athena lets her face fall into a deadpan, and is met with a large grin. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she pulls Janey’s face back down to hers, intending to finish what she started.


	3. Tears and Teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, half of this is definitely nsfw, just so you know. ;)

**Tears**

_The first time Janey sees Athena cry, it’s after the death of a child._

It feels as if the air itself is pressing against her chest, forcing her under, and her feet can only shuffle to move the burden of her body, fingers using the wall for support.

Socked toes finally meet a table leg and her palms are quick to spread over its top, leaning forward to ease the pain in her ankles. The initial relief is chased away by disappointment when the ache only moves to her wrists. Giving up on standing, Janey slumps into the closest chair, allowing her weight to distribute more evenly, and less painfully, through her thighs and bum.

They’ve been on Pandora for just under a month, and she hasn’t stepped out the door of this shit-hole of a place since they arrived. Not that they had the chance to shop around, what with Athena practically carrying her by the time they’d transported off the ship. Gravity sickness had taken a bigger toll on her than either of them thought it would.

That’s what ya get for not leaving the moon since age 7, Springs. Nice one.

At least breathing had become easier in the last week, and with strength training her muscles were slowly adjusting.

Slowly being the key word.

Her moon-height was always something she’d relished in, especially the extra few centimetres it gave her on Athena, however it was a bloody bitch now, coming at the cost of lithe bones and ‘noodle’ muscles as Athena likes to call them.

With a sigh, Janey twists her head from side to side in a stretch, eyes sweeping over the cramped, dingy space that is the kitchen and lounge all in one. She’s tempted to try and make the trip back to the bedroom, lying down is the most comfortable position to be in, but she’d promised Athena she’d keep her body moving.

She makes the effort to stand and regrets it, the stone on her chest growing in size; her legs tremble. The crushing is so intense she almost doesn’t notice the shift in the air behind her.

Or the quiet metallic steps against the cement floor, right one heavier, and the left scraping a little.

Or the ragged exhale of breath and hiss of air sucked back in.

Two years together and yeah, she knows Athena’s presence. She turns in an instant and can’t help her gasp.

“Thena…” The name is a whisper.

The gladiator stands in the middle of the room, eyes down and Xiphos propping her up, armour torn to pieces. Dirt and blood cover her skin in a sickening camouflage, and it’s horrible. 

But Janey’s focus is the drawn to something entirely new. Wet cheeks and matted lashes. 

Tears. 

Athena’s eyes flick up to hers, features contorting.

“Janey-”

And it’s broken and painful, voice collapsing in on itself with a strangled cry. 

Strength floods through Janey and suddenly her arms are under Athena’s, drawing her in and ignoring the stench of death as she falls into the embrace. Xiphos clatters to the ground and Janey staggers under the load, and it’s only a second before she hits the floor. Armour digs into her front and she can feel warmth seeping into her shirt, right under Athena’s stomach.

Blood, probably blood.

And Athena’s apologising with choked words and Janey can barely hear them because they’re mumbled through more and more tears against her chest.

And she wonders if she’s going to die because her heart is breaking seeing Athena like this.

But also the air is kinda being squeezed from her lungs.

“-Athena, I can-guh-I can’t…" 

Her hands push against the floor and a groan of effort escapes as she tries to sit up, to drag them against the wall or the couch, anything. Athena seems to realise what she’s doing and suddenly fingers cup the back of her ribs, pulling her up.

Athena’s apologies continue to fall along with the tears down her cheeks.

They make it to the edge of the couch with no grace at all, and a good five minutes are spent with Athena curled between Janey’s legs, forehead tucked into her neck and fists balled in her shirt. Teeth scrape against Janey’s collarbone in silent screams, punctuated by heaving breaths, and it’s all she can do to curl herself around the woman in her arms, whispering into tangled hair.

“I’ve got ya, I’ve got ya, shh, you’re safe, you’re home.”

The ghost screams dissolve into sobs, air being sucked in rapidly, and teeth leaving Janey’s neck. Dirty hands still hang on for dear life.

“Thena, hey, Thena,” and its gentle, so gentle, “You gotta breathe, okay hun? You’re hyperventilating.”

Scarred arms keep their grip gentle and easy to break, ‘cause Janey knows this is it, the breakdown Athena’s spent the last four years trying to avoid and suppress. The one Janey’s been waiting for over the past two.

And so she holds her.

And hours pass. 

Janey’s whole body aches and the armour sticking into her is almost unbearable. But it doesn’t matter because the crying has tapped out and she’s managed to reach for a rejuvenator and inject it, quickening an already unnatural healing speed. The needle clinks on the floor and Athena stirs for the first time in minutes.

Janey thought she’d fallen asleep.

Blue eyes look up at her, gaze bloodshot and bottom lip raw from biting. She can feel tears pricking at her own eyes, but before they can form, Athena silently stands and she finds herself being helped onto the couch. They rearrange themselves so there’s far less metal between them and much more skin, warmth being exchanged along with air, as they lie tangled together. 

She kisses between Athena’s eyes, “Wanna talk about it?”

Eyes squeeze shut and brows pinch, but ‘no’ isn’t said and so she continues, “You were escorting someone, right?”

A little nod; muscular thighs stiffen against hers. She tucks a piece of purple hair away, letting her finger trace the curve of Athena’s ear.

“Something went wrong?” She’s whispering every word, cupping Athena’s cheek, and trying to keep the calm, “Did they…did you fail the mis-”

“-A young boy…f-four, he was-four,” and breathing is being threatened again, “I couldn’t, I…h-he had-”

Janey swipes her thumb across a high cheekbone, and her lips follow, salty taste on her tongue, “You’re okay, it’s already happened, you’re-” 

A strong hand clamps over hers, and another presses above her heart. Something like agony crosses Athena’s features.

“H-he had you’re eyes, Janey.”

Oh.

Tears of her own finally fall and she feels selfish for letting them, so she pulls Athena closer and waits it out, palm circling taught shoulder blades. And there’s nothing she can say. 

 

* * *

 

**Teeth**

_The first time Athena is bites Janey, she slips in the shower._

A whispered moan floats down from above.

Athena smiles.

She can the feel bruises forming on her knees where they press into hard, slippery metal, and the flecks of water that manage to reach her are cold by the time they patter against her thighs. Goosebumps race across her skin and wounds twitch reflexively, disliking the cold but still wary of the heat they faced moments ago. 

Though none of it matters, because the last month without Janey has been torture, and god, she tastes incredible.

Athena flattens her tongue in a drawn out motion and fans her palms around scarred, slick hips. Heat returns to her forearms as her hands continue, gripping pale, full cheeks and pulling Janey closer.

Another moan urges her on, and so she moves up through familiar territory, teeth kneading and lips caressing, sweet tang in her mouth as she sucks on a swollen clit, tongue flicking under its hood and-

“Shit, Thena…”

The husky need of those words sends a throb between her legs and she lets a groan vibrate through her mouth, tongue stroking with new fervour. Janey’s hips jerk forward and Athena stills the grinding motion, grasping firmly, but a whimpering plead makes her relent.

One last lick and she pulls back to drag her hand through dripping folds, offering friction with the heel of her palm while slickening her fingers. She glances up as she rubs back and forth, taking in the view above her, the slapping of wet skin only adding to her arousal. 

Dishevelled blonde hair, damp ends sticking to flushed cheekbones, and eyebrows tight. She teases Janey’s entrance and watches as parted lips twitch in a smile of pleasure. Round, perfect breasts bounce with every stroke of her hand and she waits till Janey senses her stare, dark eyes flicking open to meet hers, before slipping into her.

There’s a collective groan, and hot, velvety walls surround her fingers, and Athena can’t help but return her mouth to work alongside her hand, drinking in as much as possible.

She begins to thrust, slow and hard, moving her tongue in a matching rhythm and trying to pay attention to the sighs and incoherent words that tumble from Janey’s mouth. She looses track after one particularly rough version of her name.

“Huh-A-thena…” a tremble runs through long thighs, “Ah-hn, fuck…”

Her lips move as if this were her last meal, chin soaked and nose being invaded by Janey’s scent. She lets her own desire feed into her movements, and increases her pace, tip of her tongue tracing the letters of her three favourite words. Silky walls seem to draw her in with every thrust and she feels a definite throb in Janey’s core.

“God, Janey,” her words are captured by swollen folds, “Mm-you’re so hot-hmm-wet.”

Breathy pants are the only response, and water continues to fall over them, steam wrapping around their bodies.

She curls her fingers and makes every move deliberate, controlling herself, and ignoring pleas for ‘faster’.

She’s spent many nights over the past month thinking about this moment, and she knows what she wants. 

The angle suddenly changes as Janey leans her forearms against the shower wall, and soft curls tickle Athena’s nose while her back is pressed against cool tile. She adjusts her stance and flattens her tongue in another lingering stroke, fingers pressing hard into the rougher skin of Janey’s front wall. 

Over, and over, and over, and over. 

Moans tail into sighs.

There’s no more jerking to meet her thrusts.

And Janey must be gripping the top of the wall because long legs slowly spread wider, forcing Athena’s head back in their attempt to envelope her.

And she’s struggling to keep her balance, free hand hanging onto a scarred hip.

But she knows she’s close.

A smooth calf hooks over her shoulder and Janey is silent save for ragged breaths. 

She’s starting to ache, muscles on fire as she drives her fingers knuckle deep, curling them forward again, and again, and again, and again, and- 

“Guh-Thena.”

Hot flesh clenches around her, and she can feel throbs beginning under her tongue; Janey grips her hair. 

“Huh-hn-bite me.”

Athena doesn’t even think twice, taking as much of her in as she can and sinking her teeth down in time with one more curl of her fingers.

A deep guttural moan declares Janey’s orgasm, tall frame shaking above her.

And she’s never felt Janey come so hard, juices flowing down her hand with each spasm and sweet liquid gushing into her mouth. She smiles, unclamping her teeth, and lapping up all she can, sucking and stroking when she can’t take anymore.

“Fuck, Athena.”

The words are completely breathless. 

She mouths gently over Janey’s folds as the clenches around her fingers slow, and the last few drops hit her throat and chest. Hips jerk a little when she slips out, and Athena glances up, intending to make a show of licking her fingers, having accomplished her mission. 

However, Janey’s eyes aren’t even open and her hand only makes it halfway before her leg gives out.

She slips and falls forward.

Smooth. 

A weak grip catches her shoulders, and Janey’s laugh is so exhausted it shouldn’t even count.

“Mm, didn’t know ya had a thing for eating out in the shower,” there’s a smugness in Janey’s tone as she helps her stand.

She keeps Janey’s eye as she stretches her leg, ignoring the pins and needles, water hitting her face, “Oh, so that’s all the thanks I get?”

Janey’s face softens, cheeks pushing at her eyes in a smile, and Athena doesn’t hold out long, giving into the hand that pulls her closer by the waist and leaning into the one cupping her jaw.

God, she’s craved this touch for too long.

“Athena,” Janey’s inches closer, messy bangs framing her face, “That was bloody amazing.”

Janey’s lips meet hers. Finally.

The kiss short and grateful, and Athena responds in kind, trying to express how much she’s missed her. Janey seems to sense the shift in tone, because she mumbles a quiet, “Love you,” into the kiss.

Athena hums against her lips, smiling a little, “I love you, too.”

And it’s a few minutes before they break apart, eventually deciding to use the shower for it’s intended purpose, and it’s as Janey’s massaging shampoo into her hair that Athena throws back, “I didn’t know you had a thing for biting, down there.”

Hands on her scalp still. 

“Yeah, yeah, shut up.”

Her laugh is interrupted by a string of curses when the hot water cuts out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so much for 'weekly'. Sorry, this term is way more hectic than I anticipated. So I'm just gonna work on this when I can! :')
> 
> Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos/subs! So great to know there are a good bunch of Jathena shippers out there.


	4. Bouquets and Babies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowers and tiny humans, enjoy!

**Bouquets**

_The first time Janey receives flowers from Athena, it’s Valentines Day and she has know idea what that is._

“So an iffy looking ‘death pit’ opened up, and ya just jumped right in?”

“Well, it’s not like I had much choice-”

“Death pit, Athena! Leading to some torkshit crazy level of Claptrap’s mind, where your consciousness coulda got stuck in an eternal loop battling this Shadowtrap fella?”

“We needed the money, Janey!”

“I need you alive more than we need money!”

Silence.

“…Just-can you be more careful?”

“Oh sorry, I didn’t realise I wasn’t capable of looking after myself. You know, because I’m not a trained Lance Assassin or anything.”

“Oi, I don’t mean-”

“No, I get it, Springs-”

“Athena-”

“-my apologies for trying to help.”

The argument won’t stop playing in her head, anger and regret coursing through her veins, and she barely has the will to open her eyes; to see the vacant space across from her and acknowledge that yesterday’s fight really happened.

But there’s no reassuring puff of breath on her skin, no quiet snore in her ears, and absolutely no warmth holding any part of her. And so she already knows.

Her eyes flick open anyway. Empty bed sheets stare back.

Janey groans and rubs her face.

Cool air graces her stomach when she gets up and dresses messily, shirt on backwards and headband lopsided, wondering about the possibility of Athena being asleep the couch.

Though when she reaches the lounge, no assassin resides on the sofa. 

Janey runs her fingers through tangled bangs angrily.

Stupid, bloody stubborn, amazing, gorgeous, infuriating woman. 

The arm of the couch catches her attention and a memory of pressing Athena against it, lips trailing over the valley of her chest, flashes in her mind.

And all the anger vanishes, replaced by guilt and worry. 

Shit. 

Seriously screwed it up, Springs. Good going.

‘Cause she knows Athena is still brand new to this thing, and she’s probably never had to think about how her death might affect the people who love her.

Janey’s stomach twists.

She hasn’t had anyone _to_ love her for most of her life.

Sickness pushes up her throat and she doesn’t bother with breakfast, choosing to leave the house (shack, really) and head straight to work. She spots the empty hook by the door, where Athena’s key belongs, but it does little to ease her concern.

Janey pulls out her Echo as she walks and a lack of light makes it hard to see what the squelches under her boots are. She ignores them and dials for Athena, heading towards the (not exactly booming) Hollow Point Emporium, her heart and feet heavy. There’s no response. She leaves a short message, “Heya, ‘Thena. Look, I’m real sorry…Echo back when you can, please.”

The day crawls by.

She doesn’t even make enough to pay for tonight’s dinner; the money Athena received having already gone to keeping the workshop’s power on.

She didn’t eat last night either.

Athena may be able to go weeks at a time with little to no food, but Janey doesn’t have enhancers to keep her body running and she’s struggling already. And shit-a-brick, it’s only Wednesday.

She cleans up the shop, oil and grease failing to disappear under wipes of her rag.

Her Echo always stays within reach. There’s no call.

She wonders if she’s pushed too far too quickly; so much of her relationship with Athena seems like baby steps. Well, if they still have a relationship.

Janey Echos three more times before closing shop, still nothing.

Half of her is clinging to the hope that Athena just needs space and will be back in a few days. The other half hates herself for maybe ruining the best thing that’s happened to her in the last, well, ever.

They haven’t fought like this before and it’s frightening.

The air is sharp walking home, Hollow Point’s cave-like structure providing a perfect conduit for the nightly wind of Rust Commons East, channelling it right through the area where she and Athena live. No wonder it’s the cheapest neighbourhood. 

Janey pulls her jacket closer, its short length not helping to keep her warm; her midriff top doesn’t do much either. When they have enough money, she really needs to buy more clothes. Longer clothes. Seems like there’re too many things to buy these days. 

Arriving home, her hand shakes in a shiver as she slots her key into the lock. With a few twists she manages to get the right angle on the second try and, pushing the door open, her finger catches on a jagged bit of metal. 

She hisses, “Aw, bugger me.”

Salty iron rubs against her tongue when she shoves the digit in her mouth and she’s so tired it doesn’t even occur to her that the lights shouldn’t have been on when she walked through the door.

Staggering towards the kitchen, she reckons this might be the hungriest she’s ever been, and she’s halfway across the room when the smell hits her.

Meat. 

Her stomach lurches, because meat means food and it’s been days since her last proper meal and -she breathes in- there’s something else…

Flowers?

Janey rounds the corner and two full dinner plates greet her on the kitchen bench, a large bouquet resting to the side. Saliva fills her mouth and the steam rising off each meal tickles her neck when she rushes over.

“I missed last year, so I hope this makes up for it-”

Janey blinks away the tears that were threatening in her haste to turn around and tackle the woman who’d emerged from the shadows, arms clamping around Athena’s back, and body moulding to her muscular form. 

“-and-oof-everything else.”

And Janey is squeezing so hard she’s probably close to breaking ribs, but she doesn’t care, simply burying her head into the crook of Athena’s neck and murmuring apologies just below her jaw.

“‘Thena, holy shit, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I-”

She feels lips press into her hair and her words die. A palm cups her cheek, fingers curve behind her ear, and her face is drawn up by a gentle tug from Athena. 

She watches Athena’s expression soften and Janey knows that look, from the slightly crooked smile to the little crinkle between her brows, because it’s one completely reserved for her.

Longing, adoration, and love, yeah heaps of love. 

And it’s so pure and sincere she feels her heart skip a beat. 

The thumb on her cheek strokes her skin and she leans into the caress.

“Janey, I...” Athena’s eyes flick down to her lips and back, and the crooked smile parts and teeth peek out, “happy Valentines day.”

Janey has no idea what that is.

Though, when Athena’s mouth leans up to hers, her confusion and hunger are forgotten as she melts into the kiss. At first it’s Athena kissing her, tongue slipping between her lips and fingers gliding beneath her headband, but she quickly turns the tables and it only takes two steps before she has the assassin against the wall. She feels the smile on Athena’s lips as she tries to press every inch of their bodies together.

Her hands struggle with a worn and bloodstained shirt because skin, she needs skin. 

_You came back._

Her tongue strokes along Athena’s and her fingers spread around warm hips.

_You’re here._

She sucks on a shapely bottom lip, one hand finding Athena’s where it holds her cheek.

_I’m sorry._

She threads their fingers together.

_I love you._

Athena’s lips break away from hers, and Janey tips her head back in pleasure when she feels them reappear on her neck. Her grip on Athena’s hip tightens when sucking begins at her pulse point.

“Whatsa Valentines Day?” 

She mentally kicks herself when the words dribble out because Athena stiffens and strong hands push her back a bit so their eyes can meet.

“What?” Athena almost looks offended.

“It’s just, I’ve never heard of it before,” Janey trails a finger along the inside of Athena’s waistband in an effort to get back to what they were just doing, “is it some kinda ‘give ya girlfriend food and flowers, before making out with her’ thing?”

“I…” Athena pauses for a moment before chuckling, “Actually, that’s pretty accurate.”

The laugh is beautiful, and it grows when Janey’s stomach rumbles.

Janey rolls her eyes and tugs Athena toward the table by their entwined hands, “Get on with it then, not all of us can go forever without eating.”

The laughter dies at that comment and Janey cringes when Athena halts their progression.

“Wait,” the assassin reaches behind herself and, to Janey’s relief, brings the bouquet between them, “this is for you.”

She takes the bundle of red and white flowers, it’s heavier than she imagined and her smile broadens when she spots a large heart-shaped box nestled between the stems.

She looks up to see blue eyes sharpen as Athena gives a serious, “I love you,” and the flowers are squished a little when Athena draws their lips together in a slow kiss, “I’d do anything for you, Janey.”

The words are whispered into her mouth, not that they ever needed saying.

“I know,” she murmurs back.

And Athena kisses her long and hard, and Janey takes it all in; the sparks in her chest combining with the warmth of Athena’s touch, and it makes her dizzy. After what feels like both an eternity and no time at all, soft lips leave hers.

“Open it.” 

“Huhh…what?” it takes her a second to remember her own name. She blinks slowly and Athena’s apprehensive smile comes into focus before her. Janey takes out the box and places the bouquet on the bench as Athena turns to grab their plates; Janey watches the sway of her hips as she takes them to the table, before looking to the pink box in her own hands.

Tentatively, she lifts the lid and grins, “’Thena...”

Because sitting there, in a pillow of velvet, is a brand new universal spanner.

 

* * *

 

**Babies**

_The first time Athena sees Janey with a baby, she nearly shoots herself in the foot._

She is in no way prepared for it.

Post-mission exhaustion and hunger make her eyelids heavy as she opens the door, and the Concordian whir and buzz is left behind in the refuge of their apartment. And it’s as she lifts those tired eyes that she’s met with something unexpected. 

The lighting is dim, with the afternoon sun beginning to set through the windows of the kitchen, and there is an air of serenity that blankets the space. In the middle of the room Janey paces back and forth gently, socked feet making little hushing sounds with each step. The orange light caresses over her smooth shoulder and up a long bare leg.

Her hair is down, out of its usual headband, and blonde strands hang over her forehead, obscuring most of her face. She needs a haircut, Athena notes dumbly.

Dumbly, because she can’t really think past what Janey holds in her arms. 

The small child is cradled against the junker’s front, fingers curled around the straps of Janey’s tank top, legs floppy either side of her ribs and fluffy blonde head tucked into the scarred skin of her neck.

And the breath catches in Athena’s throat because when Janey turns to pace the other way, large, curious blue eyes meet hers.

And Athena thinks it might be a baby, and she’s not really sure because, to be honest, she struggles to distinguish between ages zero to three.

And she’s only been witness to this sight for less than two seconds, but she can already feel her mouth going slack.

Her arm must follow suit because the shotgun begins to slip from her hand and her finger catches against the trigger.

And god-fucking-damn SCAV guns and their no fucking safeties, because before she can stop it, the gun fires at the ground, barely missing her own foot. 

Both Janey and the child scream.

Janey looses her footing.

Quickly analysing her trajectory, Athena rushes forward to catch Janey by the shoulders. Janey pushes her away and the child starts to cry, fat tears rolling down its rosy cheeks.

“Bloody hell, Athena! What’ve I said about guns in the apartment?” the junker exclaims.

“I just, uh…”

Janey bounces the baby on her hip, giving the child a long finger to wrap its tiny hand around. Despite this, the crying continues.

“Aw, and I’d just got ’er to settle,” Janey grumbles, glaring at Athena.

Athena gives her best apologetic smile, “Sorry?”

Janey won’t have it, and turns away to continue in her efforts to comfort the child.

Athena sighs and mumbles about taking a shower, knowing she’s screwed up but having no idea how to correct it. Her shower is longer than usual; she busies herself by scrubbing into her nails and washing her hair at least twice, hoping that the extra minutes will fix the situation for her.

When she dares enter the lounge-kitchen again, things are much calmer. Hot leftovers steam on the bench and Janey lazes on the couch, sleeping child sprawled over her torso.

The cuffs of Athena’s (Janey’s) pyjama pants swish on the floor as she collects her dinner, digging in on the walk over to the couch. She takes a moment to freeze the image of Janey drawing circles on the child’s back in her mind before she sits down.

Janey looks up at her when she sinks into the cushions, trying not to disturb the baby.

“Heya,” Janey whispers, cheek resting on the child’s head, as Athena eats with precision.

Athena swallows, already halfway done with the meal, “Hey, yourself,” she points her laden fork at the slumbering child, “When were you going to tell me we had a baby?”

The light dances in Janey’s eyes and she breathes in deeply, “Mm sorry, hun. Didn’t want you to freak out.”

“We all know how that went,” Athena speaks into her food.

Janey chuckles softly and Athena can’t help the skip of her heart at the sound. She takes in the sight before her and her tone becomes serious, “I’m sorry, Janey, really.”

Janey grins, “All good, can imagine it was a surprise.”

Athena puts her plate down and Janey invites her into the cuddle with a raised arm. She settles into the junker’s side, taking in the regular scent of engine oil and the strange new smell of baby. Her eyelids begin to drift in time with the child’s tiny breaths and she wraps an arm around Janey’s waist, murmuring into her neck, “You just looked so beautiful…”

“Yeah?” she feels the word as a puff of breath into her hair.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you this,” she whispers, eyes closing fully.

A hand curls over her hip, encouraging her leg to hook over a long thigh, “That’s okay, I reckon I’m happy with just one baby.” 

Athena smiles and is ready to give up on consciousness when a thought nags at her, though she doesn’t bother opening her eyes, “Janey, how did you acquire the child?”

That amazing chuckle sounds again and it vibrates through Athena. 

“I’ll tell ya in the morning.” 

And sleep takes her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, another chapter down, hope you liked it. Thanks again for the comments and kudos etc. Its wonderful having all your support. 
> 
> Also, my bad for the inconsistent chapter lengths haha, I just tend to roll with whatever my fingers type.


	5. Promises and Proposals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick spoiler warning for Tales from the Borderlands ep. 2 in the second half of this chapter!! (only like really really minor spoilers) 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Promises**

_The first time Janey says ‘I love you’, it takes Athena a week to say it back._

 

They’ve been on the run for two months.

Janey can’t remember the last time they did anything other than sleep during scarce hours of safety they found. She can’t remember the last time she showered either, come to think of it. 

Tonight’s hideout is an abandoned train-car-turned-scav-den out in the Triton Flats, and the inbuilt heater she managed to fix works surprisingly well. Warmth pours from its vents and curls around them, adding to what they’re already making. Shame how much of it escapes through the bullet-holes in the walls.

Still, she savours the dirt and blood under her fingers as she grips onto Athena’s thighs. Muscles that could probably break her neck start to close around her ears and she pulls them down tiredly, rewarding their compliance with a long stroke of her tongue. There’s a huff of breath from above. Janey smiles and finds the strength to double her efforts.  

She can hear her name tumbling from Athena’s lips.

Pleading.

Begging.

Things so rare for Athena that it turns Janey on more than it probably should.

Hands appear in her hair, pulling hard at blonde bangs, and nails dig into her scalp.

Athena’s breaths shorten, more of them turning into moans.

And it’s not long after Janey enters her roughly, one forearm braced over defined hips and tongue never relenting, that there’s a loud call of her name as Athena comes. She only gets to feel a few forceful clenches before she’s suddenly pulled up and flipped over. 

“Wha-? ‘Thena…”

Sloppy kisses mouth down her throat and her eyelids flutter, protests dying. A strong hand pins Janey’s wrists above her head and she can feel Athena’s wetness against her stomach. She looks up to see the stars peeking through torn metal as a familiar touch explores her chest.

Her breath catches when lips grace her scarred breast.

And she reckons Athena touches her like she’s the most important thing in the universe.

‘Cause teeth don’t bite into her as if she’s fragile, and palms don’t trace her scars as if she’s broken. A thigh definitely doesn’t grind between hers as if she’s innocent, and a tongue doesn’t map her body as if she’s something to be conquered or won. 

Nah, this woman clings to her like she’s air, drinks her in like water, and takes her for everything she is.

It’s incredible.

So when Athena’s head disappears between her legs and her body is pushed to a throbbing, tingling mess over and over and over, Janey can’t help the words that slip as Athena’s lips return to hers.

She’s been thinking them for ages anyway.

“I love you.”

She whispers them into Athena’s mouth and doesn’t notice the falter of the fingers inside her, mostly because she’s being sent over the edge again under their touch. 

Athena finally relents and Janey is left to catch her breath as the assassin gets up, wraps herself in the blanket and leaves to do a perimeter check. Janey can imagine her getting into a gunfight like that and the fabric falling away, it’s doubtful she’d even stop shooting. The idea makes her smile and she reaches around to find a discarded shirt, pulling it over her head.

When Athena returns to her side, her skin is cold and Janey makes sure to seek out those sculpted lips and heat them up again. She trails a hand down Athena’s side and finds a grimy thigh, lifting it over her waist. They settle as close to the heater as possible with Athena half on top of her and head tucked into the puckered skin of her neck.

She’s drifting off when Athena breathes against her collarbone, “You said, ‘I love you’…”

Janey’s fingers pause where they were rubbing along Athena’s arm and she thinks back, withdrawing as she remembers.

“Aw, shit-” 

A hand grabs for hers.

“-No, uh, it’s okay, I just…” Athena’s voice stumbles, unsure.

“You don’t have to say it back,” she offers.

“Thank you,” a kiss presses beneath her ear, along with a shaky breath. “Sorry.”

And even though Janey always knew it would be harder for Athena than for her, it still hurts. But it’s not something they have the time to work on, so she just smooths her fingers through Athena’s hair and pulls the blanket higher over them both.

“All good, darl,” she murmurs, staring back up at the stars. She falls asleep trying to ignore the sudden awkwardness of the limbs around her.

A week passes. 

The tension between them grows with every day and every mile as they run toward the transport ship. Janey can barely stand it; being upfront and open are her best traits and the contrast between she and Athena in this area has never been clearer. It’s worse because Janey knows why she’s like that, why she can’t speak those three words, why it’s so hard for her to make that commitment, that promise.

So she doesn’t push it, letting Athena continue to speak through action and movement, bullets and muscle, touches and looks.

Yeah ‘looks’, the hardest one of all.

Glances and poorly hidden stares, flashes of something far more than lust or attraction in those sad blue eyes.

Janey knows this should be enough; she can see it so clearly it’s almost tangible, written over everything Athena does for her, to her. But she still needs to know for sure, something inside her aches for the confirmation. She hates it.

Athena stares at her now; she can feel the tingle on the back of her neck. 

But she doesn’t look around, not prepared for what she might see, and continues to tighten screws into the armour on her lap. Red paint flakes and a piece catches under her fingernail when she twists too tight. Hissing, she drops the screwdriver and pulls the fleck out quickly. 

The tool hits the floor with a splash; turns out her old refuge in Serenity’s Waste has only deteriorated further in her absence. It’s kinda hard to believe she and Athena have come full circle across Elpis.

The screwdriver suddenly enters her vision, offered by a calloused palm.

Janey takes it and finishes off the last screw. She fits the shin-piece back on a muscular leg without looking up, fingers lingering behind Athena’s knee, and it’s as her hand drops away that she feels warmth cup her cheek.

Her eyes fix firmly out the window, where lava throws up fountains of molten sparks.

The view is blocked when Athena kneels down on the survey table and straddles her lap. Janey stares at a worn scarf, refusing to look up, but her hands instinctively move to Athena’s hips. Hot breath suddenly mingles with hers and she can feel lips hovering above her own. She sighs when Athena’s fingers trail through her hair and settle around the base of her neck.

“Janey,” and its low and so soft that it demands her attention.

She looks up.

And sees that unspoken love swirling in deep blue, but for the first time there’s a hardened resolve shining over it.

Her heartbeat quickens.

Janey feels Athena’s lips press to her forehead in a rare show of gentleness. “Beside what little I remember of my family,” a kiss to each cheek, soft and warm, “I’ve never known what home is, beyond home base,” one to her nose, “I’ve never known what love is, beyond love for my duty,” another between her eyes, “till I met you.”

Those lips finally seal over hers and Athena kisses her as if this is the last kiss they’ll ever share, or maybe as if it’s their first. Either way, her arms quickly wrap around the assassin and those fingers tease her scalp just as a tongue enters her mouth. It’s slow and intoxicating, and she feels like she’s being enveloped and welcomed like never before.

The thought makes her hum into the kiss, mouth stretching into a smile, and Athena breaks away to rest their foreheads together. Janey can feel the pinch in Athena’s eyebrows and the nervousness in her fingers; can feel the swollen lips dancing lightly over her own, seemingly desperate to dive back in.

But they don’t as words escape instead, “You’re my home.”

Janey’s grip tightens.

She hears the hitch in Athena’s breath.

“I love you, Janey.”

And Janey kinda wants to cry, but just mumbles an, “I know,” instead and leans up to capture those lips again.

* * *

**Proposals**

_The first time Janey proposes, Athena says no._

Athena carries the few boxes of their possessions through the garage with ease, and is about to cross the threshold into the living quarters when Janey calls out from behind her.

“Wait, don’t-”

Her foot falls and she enters.

“Aw, bloody hell…” 

“What?” she turns to see Janey’s face screw up in annoyance. The expression is cute, though she doesn’t say so. She does allow herself a smile, however, when long fingers run through those blonde bangs, as if Janey is trying to tease out her own thoughts. 

“It’s just, I was supposedta, y’know, carry you through the door,” Janey replies dejectedly, arms limp by her sides. 

“Um, why?”

“’Cause that’s what people do when they get a place together,” a shoulder brushes hers as Janey moves past. “Whateva, don’t worry about it.”

Frowning, she follows the blonde into the kitchen and turns down the Rakk ale offered from the fridge. Janey shrugs, opens hers and takes a long swig. Athena studies her, the stiffness in her movements and the slight angle of her eyebrows. There’s something off.

She’s pretty sure she knows what. 

“I don’t understand, we’ve had plenty of places.” 

“Yeah but this is the first time its felt, I dunno, permanent?”

Athena watches how the sink cuts into Janey’s hip as she leans against it.

Another long sip, the drink is almost half-gone. Athena’s mind does the calculations and she sees where this is going, but her brain refuses to come up with any useful ideas. So, she wings it.

Not her strong point in these situations.

“Alright, well, maybe we should have dinner then,” she steps toward Janey and slips her fingers around the bottle; she’s met with no resistance as she takes it, save for a glare.

“To celebrate, I mean,” Athena’s smile falters when she sees the anger in those brown eyes, “certainly not to…dilute…anything…”

“Uh-huh.”

Janey is never angry.

Annoyed? Upset? Disappointed?

Sure, but Athena has never seen her angry.

Fuck. 

Dinner is a silent affair. They eat on the upstairs couches, more space between them than usual, and Athena examines the pinup posters on the walls rather than meet Janey’s eye. The junker is on her fifth drink and there’s a sinking feeling in Athena’s stomach. She runs through past arguments in her head and not once does she recall Janey choosing to drink rather than talk. 

Janey is direct.

Always.

And Athena loves that about her, the no-nonsense upfront attitude, the honesty…

She swallows with difficulty.

It must be something big, something important.

Because Janey always knows when Athena’s lying, and always calls her out on it, and the half-assed ‘coincidence’ story she told a few days ago certainly wouldn’t have gone over the junker’s head. So the fact that Janey hasn’t confronted her about it means there is something else going on.

And it scares her; the way the junker is defying all her own rules. Because that’s how Athena’s mind works, breaking everything down into rules, statistics, strategies, and likelihoods. Even people. So whenever Janey surprises her like this, she’s always left fumbling and trying to catch up. 

She takes another bite of food and chews slowly. If this was a combat situation, and a confrontation was inevitable, she’d have two basic options: wait it out and allow the enemy to tire, or go in guns blazing and hope for the best. While she usually prefers the latter in battle, and uses the former with Janey, this is the first time she’s ever seriously contemplated initiating the discussion.

Janey beats her to it, accent thick and words slurring a little. 

“D’ya know what one of the most important things in a relationship is, ‘Thena?” 

She looks at the junker and dark eyes pierce hers.

“Honesty.” The word is practically spat.

Athena puts her fork down, “I know, Janey, I know, but-”

“But, what? ‘We needed the money’?” Janey mocks, her movements mechanical with controlled anger.

“No! I’ve given that up. I promised, remember? This is…different,” she reaches for the junker’s hand but it jerks away. The action makes Athena’s chest constrict.

She meets those dark eyes and her voice is firm as she struggles to explain, “I’m trying to keep you safe, there are some things I can’t tell you-”

“Aw, bullshit!” Janey stands, fists clenching and chest heaving. She leans toward Athena and a long finger points to the assassin’s chest, “I love you. Y’know what that means?”

“I-”

“Means I’d go through anything for you, with you,” Janey’s shoulders sag, the fight suddenly draining from her body. “You don’t have to do this shit on your own anymore.”

Athena rises from the couch and touches Janey’s arm, slipping her fingers around taught, slim muscle. She’s met with a glare, but isn’t pushed away. 

She sighs, “This is complicated, more dangerous than usual. It’s…it’s Atlas, Janey.” 

Something flashes in Janey’s eyes, anger wavering for a moment, though it’s quickly swallowed again.

Athena cups a scarred cheek as she tries to reason with her, “You know what they did, Janey. If any part of them has survived after all these years…if they knew about you-”

The warmth leaves Athena’s hand when the junker steps back.

“Yeah, yeah, they’d try to kill me,” Janey laughs harshly, face spiteful. “Kinda seems like the whole ruddy universe is tryna kill us ay?”

Janey’s arms spread, as if she is asking someone to take a shot, before she shoves her hands through her hair. “But ya know, I happily, gave up my life and safety, to be with you despite that-“

God, Athena thinks about that every fucking day. 

“-and trust me, I’d do it a million times over. But ya can’t keep hiding this shit from me.”

Athena feels like she’s being torn in half.

“Fine! I’m sorry, Janey, really,” her hand stretches out, pleading, and her teeth clench when Janey only stares her down. Her frustration suddenly surges, “Argh! You have to understand-”

A bark of laughter interrupts her and the frustration in her chest dissipates, worry settling there instead.

“Yeah, I understand alright,” Janey’s mouth twists, eyes hollow. “D’ya know what the plan was, ‘Thena? When I secured a good business? When we found a safe home? Y’know what I was gonna do the night we moved in?”

A small box flies through the air.

Athena’s catches it easily, sword arm moving of its own accord.

“I was gonna propose.”

Oh, fuck.

Athena’s heart pounds in her ears.

She looks down.

And lifts the lid.

On black velvet rests a silver ring, strung on a thick chain, and she can tell just by looking that Janey made it. Her eyes suddenly burn and tears threaten for the first time in over a year, “Janey…”

She looks up to see that the ones in Janey’s eyes have already started to fall.

“So whatd’ya say, ‘Thena, marry me?” the junker asks with a bitter smile, finishing off her drink.

Words don’t work in Athena’s mouth. Her hands shake.

“I…Janey, n-not like this.” 

She staggers as a broad shoulder shoves past her; the box is snatched from her hands.

“Yeah, thought not.”

Footsteps echo down the stairs.

Athena stands rigid, nails digging into her palms and blood mixing with tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. 
> 
> But I had to have angst in here somewhere! Don't worry, the next chapters will be less painful I swear. :) 
> 
> Thanks for all the support!!!


	6. Brawn and Brains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muscles and creativity yo! 
> 
> ps. make sure you read the end part of my chapter notes ;)

**Brawn**

_The first time Janey sees Athena shirtless, she nearly gets a car dropped on her head._

Okay, yeah, she’s seen Athena shirtless heaps of times, but never while working, and never outside their apartment.

Concordia’s thermostat is cactus, again, and heat oozes from every vent. And ever since Moxxi packed up and shipped back to Pandora, the amount of mechanics in the capital spaceport has shrunk by a lot.

To a singular, in fact.

Yep, the only ruddy mechanic left on this side of Elpis is Janey - who actually prefers the more accurate title of junk dealer, but hey who’s gonna turn down extra business on a technicality? -  and boy, does she have a shittonne of work to do. The thermostat is down to about 78 on the list of jobs this arvo and Janey’s seriously thinking of pushing it back to tomorrow or never because shit, she could get used to this view.

Athena stands beside the broken car hoist, gripping the industrial chain that’s holding the Moon-Zoomy above Janey’s head, leaning back a little and using her weight to stabilise.

Oh, and she’s very, very shirtless.

And Janey is very, very turned on right now.

The afternoon sun is bright and it mixes with the hazy air to create a soft, orange glow over Athena’s torso. That bloody beautiful, strong figure always has Janey slack-jawed whenever she’s not concentrating (like now). A light sheen of sweat emphasises the assassin’s body; clad in only pant fatigues and a sports bra, it’s a sculpture of firm muscle with the barest hint of curves. Yet, amongst it all, Athena’s arms are the first thing to catch Janey’s attention.

Yeah, Janey’s defs an arms girl.

Not even gonna deny it.

She’s had the privilege of seeing ‘em up close plenty of times, touched their smooth skin, had ‘em wrapped around her, and been picked up by them countless times. She’s kissed along their distinguished contours, and gently traced the tattoo on the right one. But seeing them used to full capacity is totally another experience.

Athena grunts in effort and Janey watches the shift of her muscle as she adjusts her grip. Tense, bare shoulders lead to biceps that bulge under the strain; strong enough to hold the weight of a Moon-Buggy and tender enough to carry Janey to bed when she’s sick. They’re connected to brawny forearms, which flex with the power to wield a sword and brandish a shield, but are still refined enough to control the trigger of a gun or sustain the movements to pleasure Janey over and over. 

Athena’s hands are covered by the rubber-coated chain, which is probs a good thing ‘cause Janey doesn’t know if she can deal with the sight of those dexterous fingers, and so her gaze flicks to the assassin’s stomach.

Janey swallows.

Solid.  

It’s the only word she can think of to describe that torso. Athena’s abdominals are a stone slab of core strength, a little lopsided and puckered here and there with scars; they almost ripple in the sun’s dying light. Janey follows the defined line running from beneath Athena’s sports bra down to her bellybutton, and is suddenly ten times more aware of the heat, and the fact she herself isn’t wearing anything more than Athena is.

Sweat trickles down the back of Janey’s neck and time feels lazy as she stares. Athena shifts and the edge of her fatigues attract Janey’s eyes. Without their belt, Athena’s pants sit low and the outline of her oblique muscles curve over her hipbones, delving downward in a narrowing ‘V’ and disappearing under her waistband. Janey rakes her eyes over the red pants and can still make out the hint of those skull-crushing thighs and restless calves. 

Janey reckons Atlas has crafted an exquisite weapon of mass destruction.

And it breaks her heart knowing most people will only think of that when they see her.

They’ll cower at the muscle and run from the guns, and they won’t see the broken, frightened, child-soldier who’s fumbling to try and find her way in the world without wars and commanding officers.

They’ll stare at the scars and admire the deadly beauty, and they won’t see the woman behind the gladiator shield. The woman who makes awful puns and hates toast; the woman whose left side is more sensitive than her right, and who flinches on reflex when a spoon hits the floor. The woman who laughs in the face of battle, but trembles when the walls are too tight around her, the woman who thinks bullymongs are cute and who always folds her clothes before she leaves the bedroom. The woman who wakes up yelling in cold sweats, and who looks at Janey like she’s the sun- 

“SPRINGS!”

Janey’s eyes snap to Athena’s face and she suddenly hears the groaning metal and the hiss of Athena’s breath. The car above drops by an inch or two as the assassin is pulled forward.

“Flip the goddamn switch!” Athena snarls at her.

Janey stirs and quickly presses a button on the remote clutched in her hand. The groaning stops and Athena lets go of the chains, dropping her arms and shaking them by her sides in relief. Janey edges out from under the Moon-Zoomy.

“Ah, sorry hun. Gotta bit distracted there.” Janey rubs the back of her neck.

“I’ll say,” Athena grumbles before lifting an eyebrow. “Admiring the view?”

Janey smiles and wipes her face with the back of her hand, watching as Athena steps closer. Janey is all too aware of the feeling of being dwarfed by the gladiator, no matter her own height; Athena can somehow make herself look a lot bigger than she is, when she wants to. Janey doesn’t let the feeling show.

“Mm, I coulda sworn your pretty blue gaze was glued to my back earlia. Or was that my ass?” Janey grins slyly and reaches her arms above her head in a not-so-subtle stretch. She doesn’t miss the flick of Athena’s eyes over her body, or the red that blooms across those high cheekbones.

“I-uh…uhm...”

Janey can’t help her snicker. 

“Shut up, Springs.”

To avoid falling into laughter, Janey kisses her, hot, sticky and breathless, till even pants and bras are too much clothing.

Yeah, the thermostat probs isn’t gonna get fixed today.

* * *

**Brains**

_The first time Athena helps Janey with writer’s block, inspiration is closer than they realise._

Athena is smart.

Very smart. 

Her brain operates at around twice the speed of the average person and with her photographic memory, she stores all information in categorised mental folders for easy retrieval. She can glance at a combat situation and immediately know the best course of action; likelihoods and statistics calculate in her head as naturally as they would in any machine. She can hit a target kilometres away, and can push her body harder than any athlete. Yet Athena doesn’t know if she can call any of the above talent.

She can’t remember enough of her childhood before Atlas took her, to know whether these skills of war are something she was born with or if they were implanted, conditioned, and forced into her. Perhaps the only ‘talent’ she can claim is her knack for leadership; there were few amongst the Lance who had the opportunity lead Omega Squads. Yet there _were_ some. Meaning it is entirely possible Atlas simply instilled leadership traits in a select percentage, of which Athena was a part.

And so she has nothing, beyond what she chooses to use these abilities for now, on her own terms.

But Janey is different.  Janey has talent.

Or at least what Athena calls talent. 

The natural curiosity and intrigue of a child toward particular disciplines, before they are old enough to be told what they should and shouldn’t like; of little blonde Springs who enjoyed tearing things apart and putting them back together by age two, and who was writing stories as soon as she could babble and hold a pencil.

The dedicated perusal of those areas by the child, leading to increased skill and experience through their own passion, not through the threat of a gun or caged isolation; of young Janey’s persistence, moving from fixing toasters at seven years and building small engines by eight, to coordinating her own junk sourcing network by ten and writing short stories at eleven.

These skills, which thanks to devotion have now put the person miles ahead of their peers, are then used for benefit during their life, be it to their own advantage, for those above them or below, for entertainment, for combat…

Such as teenage Janey Springs’ use of her experience to design and build a prosthetic arm for her grandmother after the fire that took half their town; the same Springs who wrote the poem stamped on the headstones of every one of the dead, and who always forged the essays for kids struggling at school. Adult Janey who opened ‘Springs’ Emporium of Stuff’ to fulfil her own dream, but who still gives mate’s rates to locals and free service to the desperate; Janey who babysits the neighbour’s kids and occupies their minds with endless stories of wonder. Janey fucking Springs who saw Athena and thought, ‘Yeah, that one’s worth fixing’.

So when Janey asks Athena for help with writing, Athena feels very under-qualified.

“C’mon! There’s gotta be something!”

“I don’t think they can hear you, Janey, or answer.”

Janey breaks her staring match with the stars and turns to Athena, face exasperated and eyes black under the night sky. “Yeah, no shit…” 

Athena sighs. They have been at this all day. Since the crack of dawn when, for once, Janey was awake before her, and Athena nearly tripped over a frustrated ball of blonde hair and long limbs who had decided the bathroom floor was a good place to try and find inspiration. Athena could offer no suggestions, beyond taking a shower, and so they wandered what feels like half of Pandora looking for this illusive ‘inspiration’.

Somehow they ended up at the summit of Hollow Point’s rocky outcrop, looking at the stars and freezing their asses off. Athena doesn’t know how any of this is supposed to help. 

“I’m sorry.” She murmurs into a scarred neck as Janey slumps against her in defeat. The junker’s skin is like ice and Athena instinctively takes her scarf off with one hand and wraps it around Janey’s shoulders. Her enhancers mostly keep the cold from affecting her, but Springs is more sensitive.

“Nah. Soz for dragging you round with me all day.” Janey smiles as she pulls away from the embrace. The smile is hollow. It doesn’t reach those dark eyes. “I reckon I’m gonna stay out here for a while, I’ll meet ya back home.”

Janey tightens the scarf around herself before stepping back and sitting down closer to the cliff’s edge. Janey hardly ever asks for space and Athena is always inclined to give it to her when she does, though tonight the wind pushes her forward and she feels a tug in her stomach, stopping her from leaving. She isn’t one for gut feelings in general, but she doesn’t like the look of that drop.

With silent movements, Athena kneels down behind Janey. She breathes in deeply and, thinking about her body and not the ticking in her mind, wraps her arms around Janey’s stomach. She presses her cheek to a broad shoulder blade and feels the expansion of Janey’s chest, adjusting her own breathing to match. Athena holds on like an anchor, listening to the rush of air as it slowly grows shakier, and trying to keep her own stable by contrast.

“I don’t understand,” Athena speaks into the furred collar of Janey’s jacket. “This has never happened before, you always write about, well, everything.”

“Yeah, I’m just…” Cold, goose-bumped skin settles over Athena’s forearms and Janey gives a trembling sigh. “I’m tired of writing 'bout everything. I wanna write about something.”

“What do you mean?”

The shoulders beneath Athena start to shake and she realises Janey is crying. A knife digs into her chest because Springs’ tears are supposed to be happy, like when she finally gets her hands on a piece of junk she’s been scouting for years, or when Athena surprises her with something romantic; and they are supposed to be mixed with laughter when Athena doesn’t quite hit the mark on what’s actually considered romantic. They should be excited, like when Athena says yes, she’ll be her girlfriend, or when Scooter tells her she’s the darn best mechanic he’s seen outside his immediate family. They shouldn't be this. 

Janey’s shoulders heave. 

“I wanna write something that leaves a piece of me here when I kick the bucket, y’know? Something that helps every little ankle biter that reads it.” Air breezes Athena’s arm as Janey wipes her nose. “Something that helps people when I can’t.” 

“You’re getting very existential all of a sudden.” Athena tightens her grip and frowns.

Janey laughs and it feels sad when it vibrates through Athena’s chest, but the blonde leans back and soon she is resting against Athena’s front. Their fingers easily lace together on Janey’s stomach and Athena breathes in the familiar smell of engine oil, thinking it goes well with the scent of gun powder that coats her own skin.

“I dunno.” Janey traces the ridges of Athena’s knuckles. “I’m turning thirty-three next week…”

“You old fart.”

"Shut up." Janey hits her hand. “For all we know you could be like forty, miss Athena.”

Athena laughs and kisses the top of Janey’s head with a smirk. “Now we both know that can’t be true, I am definitely not a day past twenty-eight.”

“You keep tellin’ yourself that, hun.” 

A hush falls over them and the stars creep across the sky, their silent journey only broken by the calls of the skags below. Athena studies Elpis’ soft glow, thinking over Janey’s words and wondering idly if the junker ever gets homesick. If she does, it’s never voiced.

The chill begins to seep into even Athena’s bones and she decides they should be getting home and into bed. Stargazing with your girlfriend is nice and all, but there are limits to Athena’s capacity to sit still without shooting anything. 

“Are you talking about legacy?” Athena asks quietly.

Janey shifts in her arms. “I guess.”

Athena swallows and thinks carefully about her next sentence, the subject has become touchy in the last few months and she’s not sure why. But she decides to take a leaf from Janey’s book and be upfront.

“A lot of people have children for that.”

Janey stiffens. Athena keeps her resolve, there’s no taking the words back after all, and gets ready for an argument.

She’s surprised when Janey hums and brings their joined hands to her sternum, somehow sinking further into Athena’s chest. 

“Hah, yeah…that’s not really in the cards, is it?”

“No.”

The silence returns and anger slowly stirs in Athena's stomach. Anger that she can’t give that life to Janey, not now, maybe never. Anger over Janey’s constant repetition of the words, “It’s alright, this is enough.” When clearly it isn’t. Anger that Janey feels the need to suppress that for Athena’s own sake. Anger that this isn’t something she can just shoot and be done with it.

“Argh!”

Janey jerks and looks up. “What?”

Athena stares down at her, face twisted in frustration. “Why don’t you write about it then?!”

“What?” Janey’s eyebrows knit together. 

“Write us a kid!” Athena yells in exasperation. “A kid that wasn’t abducted by the military at seven, or didn’t become an orphan at 13; a kid that has the best of us without the worst. Give them your heart and my eyes, and make them a role model that the children on this godforsaken planet can look to. Just. Please. Give this to yourself…” 

Because I can't. 

She trails off when she notices Janey’s open mouth.

“’Thena.”

“Sorry.” Athena looks away and starts backtracking. Janey doesn’t respond well to yelling and she’s probably stepped too far this time. Fuck. “It was just a suggestion. Don’t worry ab-” 

Cold lips and a dry tongue steal the words out of her mouth and Athena finds herself on her back. Janey kisses her like she just saved Elpis all over again and it takes her a second to respond, but she rapidly has her arm around Janey’s waist and her hand cupping the back of her neck. She tries to kiss back but isn’t given the chance as Janey gives and gives, to the point where Athena thinks she might drown in the love trailing after those lips and soft caresses.

Eventually, Athena has to come up for air and she thinks Janey should probably do the same. She separates their faces with her palm on a soft cheek and her fingers tucked behind a damaged ear.

“Breathe, Janey,” she commands. 

Janey gasps and opens her eyes, and Athena studies their blackness with a little confusion. She strokes her thumb along Janey’s cheekbone and blinks when kisses start to pepper her face; nose, cheeks, lips, forehead, lips a few more times.

“I love ya,” Janey murmurs into Athena’s skin with each kiss. “I fucking love ya.”

And despite the dark and the cold and the biting wind, Athena basks in the fact she has managed to fix something without shooting it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry that I haven’t posted anything recently, I’ve received a few messages and I want to let you know it’s not because of feedback that I received for ‘Enhancement’, but mostly due to end of term assignments/exams. On top of this I’ve had a sucky time in the last month on the girlfriend front, and the state of heartbreak really isn’t conducive to romantic lesbian writing haha. 
> 
> But in happier news: I've started up a blog on tumblr. Yay! You can find me at - http://andorzebra.tumblr.com/  
> Cool right? Know what's even better? The next multichapter fic I've got planned is basically a bunch of Jathena AUs, so if you wanna go on over to tumblr and submit me some AU ideas/headcanons, I'll pick 9 of my favourite ones to write up. :D 
> 
> GO FORTH!
> 
> *Edit - It just occurred to me that some of you may not have tumblr! So that's you, feel free to message me on here instead.


	7. Jail and Jokes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The good 'ol Concordia jail, and then some good 'ol Jathena smut ;)

**Jail**

_The first time Janey gets stuck in jail, it’s totally Athena’s fault._

Janey is woken by a slap to the face.

Well, a small slap. Actually more of a tap really.

She groans and opens her eyes. Bright blue ones stare back, big and playful, and Janey’s frown is met by a one-toothed grin.

“Aw, Rubes,” she grumbles at the baby in her arms, shifting so that Ruby’s knees aren’t digging so hard into her ribs. “Ya can’t go waking people up by hitting ‘em.”

Ruby taps her cheek again and Janey grabs her arm gently. “No.”

Her voice is scratchy and tired, and clearly not making any authoritative impact because Ruby raises her other hand. 

Oh brill, now it’s a game.

Janey closes her fingers around the chubby arm and lifts Ruby up, much to the child’s delight. Giggles dribble from her mouth, along with a little flood of drool that slides down the girl’s chin. Janey sighs and sits up to stretch her back, placing Ruby more comfortably on her lap.

She takes in the room around her; the air smells like stale vomit, the walls are dirty and rusted, and she doesn’t even want to look at the floor, or think about what the squishy stuff beneath her foot is. Considering the amount of people CU5TM-TP throws in here, you’d think the claptrap would at least keep the place clean.

Janey twists and cracks her spine with a satisfying hum.

Sleeping in a dirty jail cell is one thing. Doing it with her ass on a steel bench, back against the wall and a baby on her chest, is a whole other. There’s a mad crook in her neck and her left butt cheek has gone numb. Also, there’s a disturbingly large wet patch on her shirt from where Ruby’s head has been all night. Janey’s about at her limit.

“Mm…Janey.”

Ruby’s mouth forms a curious ‘O’ at the sound of Athena’s voice and she turns around on Janey’s thighs. Janey follows her line of sight to see the assassin lying on the bench to her right, body rigid in her usual tin-soldier sleeping position.

“Hhm…” Athena sighs in her sleep as that bloody kraggon – jumbuck, whateva – licks her face. Janey isn’t awake enough to even find the sight funny, so instead of laughing she raises her slipper clad foot and kicks Athena’s leg.

“Wake up, ya useless lump of muscle.”

Athena’s eyes flash open and she yells at the jumbuck nuzzling her face, her arms lash out and she practically throws the tiny kraggon across the cell. It rolls into a ball upon landing and stays curled up on the floor. Janey might feel bad for it if she didn’t hate the damn things so much; even curled up, the creature makes her nervous. Athena bolts upright and looks around, doing her usual assessment of the surroundings. Her eyes come to rest on Janey. 

“What?” Janey shrugs and gives Ruby a bounce on her knee. “Sounded like you were havin’ fun.”

“God, Springs.” Athena’s tongue sticks out in repulsion and she rubs her face vigorously, eyes making daggers. “Just. Gross.” 

Janey allows herself a small smile, revenge is sweet. “You kinda deserved it.” 

“I-wait, what?” Athena pauses and Janey takes the opportunity to pass Ruby into her arms, so she can stand and get the feeling back in her legs. Athena takes the baby without hesitation, unlike the start of the month where she was scared to even touch the child. Luckily, Ruby has a weird fascination with Athena, and is already trying to climb up the bits of red armour on her torso and tug at her hair. 

“You’re still angry?” Athena asks, half paying attention to the argument and half to Ruby. The gladiator does a nice job of somehow keeping the baby away from her guns and grenades and knives and, y’know, everything else dangerous on her person.

“’Course I’m still bloody angry!” Janey straightens and steps in front of Athena. “Every right to be, after you got my ass thrown in jail for the first time in my life.”

“Ugh, Springs-”

“Don’t ‘Springs’ me. D’you know what Rubes’ ma would do to me if she found out where her daughter’s been?” Janey points to the baby who is studying the tattoo on Athena’s arm. Ruby squeals in delight when Athena flexes her forearm and the picture changes shape.

“Argh! I already tol-” Athena starts to yell, but quietens when fear suddenly crosses Ruby’s face. Janey feels her heart pull a little as Athena runs her hand over the tuft of blonde hair on the baby’s head, trying to soothe her. “I told you, I didn’t know animals were prohibited in Concordia. God, I mean, people have all these tiny humans running about the place.” 

Janey wants to laugh at that, but her anger is still too fresh. “There’s a bit o’ difference between kiddies and fire-breathing kraggons, ‘Thena.” 

“How was I supposed to know it breathed fire?” Athena hisses at her. “The thing is smaller than I am.”  

Just in time, the jumbuck in question uncurls itself and yawns, purple light spilling from its mouth. Janey tenses as it walks toward her, and even though the creature is tiny, it doesn’t stop her heartbeat quickening or the rush of fear that surges through her body. And in a snap, the kraggon grows in size till it towers over her and dominates the cell. The purple in its mouth morphs to a white-hot yellow and fire drips from its maw as it charges her.

“Janey.” 

She can feel the burns searing down her left side as if her skin were being melted all over again and she tries to force air into her lungs, tries to force her legs to move, but nothing works. The beast gets closer and closer, its pebbly eyes torched with hate. The lower half of its jaw unhinges so Janey can see into its mouth and down that scorching gullet. Rocky teeth close on her skin, clamping down around her- 

“Janey!” 

Suddenly, Athena stands between her and the jumbuck, settling the baby on her hip. The gladiator gently places a hand on Janey’s stomach. “Breath, darling. You’re, uh, you’re okay.” 

Janey gulps in a mouthful of air and she can suddenly feel the sweat on her brow and hear Ruby’s gurgles again. She blinks hard. Athena’s hand softly presses down on her stomach and releases, and Janey pays attention to the rhythm till her breathing is normal and easy. 

“Shit.” Her voice is quiet and shaky. “S-sorry, hun.” 

Athena guides her to the bench, still acting as a barrier between her and the kraggon. The assassin cups her face and Janey flinches where fingers touch her scars, the memory of pain still tender. Athena withdraws her hand and offers it to Ruby, who tries to wrap her digits around the thick fingers. 

“Is, uhm…” Athena kneels so Janey is looking down at her rather than up. “Is that the real reason you were so upset?” 

Janey chooses to focus on the two sets of blue eyes looking at her, instead of the jumbuck she can still see over Athena’s shoulder. She hates that such a bloody dumb animal can do this to her. 

Athena squeezes her knee and she stirs. “Yeah.” 

Hurt is plain on Athena’s face, mixed with guilt. “I just…he was so small- I mean, Peepot said he was sweet, and I- it was only for a night, the money was good and, and…”

Janey waits while Athena deals with whatever mix of emotions she's experiencing. The assassin isn’t the best at handling them, and Janey's been showing her how to sort through them a bit better. First step is to acknowledge each one, second is to decide which to act upon. Anguish, anger, confusion, and horror are only a few she recognises in those sad eyes. 

“Its, well, you- you love babysitting Ruby so much,” Athena eventually continues at a stutter. “I just, you were okay when I echoed you.” 

“I know I was, hun.” Janey keeps her breathing even, feeling relief as the attack finally passes. “But, like I said, there’s a difference between kids and kraggons.” 

She’s a little surprised when Ruby is pressed to her chest and Athena’s arm circles around her back, drawing her close and smooshing the child between them. Janey inhales in the scent of gunpowder and baby, two things that probably shouldn’t go together, but that still wrap her in a blanket of comfort.

“I'm sorry, Janey,” Athena whispers by her ear. 

“I know,” Janey murmurs into Ruby’s fluff of hair, and she feels the hand on her back tighten.

“HEY! There will be NO fondling between PRISIONERS. Look at what YOU are subjecting that small human to!”

Ruby blabbers at CU5TM-TP’s metallic voice and Janey finds it in herself to laugh.

* * *

**Jokes**

_The first time Athena uses puns in the bedroom, is definitely not the last._

“Dirty talk?”

“Yeah y’know, telling me how stuff feels, saying what you wanna do to me, that kinda thing.”

Athena watches Janey’s grin grow alongside the desire in her dark eyes and, despite much effort, she feels heat rise to her cheeks. Long fingers fan over her thighs and her body responds to the touch; she shifts her weight over Janey’s lap so their hips are a little closer and breathes in deeply, trying to calm her heartbeat. “Right, uh…”

Considering how many hours she has spent familiarising herself with Janey’s body and touch in the last three months, Athena is still confused by her own physical reactions to this woman. Everything is always exaggerated and out of her control. It thrills her and scares her at the same time, and she is suddenly filled with the need to withdraw somehow, wary of the unknown. But she pushes the urge aside and places her hands over Janey’s instead. “Okay, uh, what are the rules?”

“Rules?” Janey’s eyebrows twitch in confusion before she laughs. “There aren’t any.”

Oh, great. 

Athena flicks her gaze to the headboard and instinctively takes her hands away, tucking them by her ribs, arms crossed. Janey quickly draws her forward. 

“Hey, it’s all good,” Janey breathes over her lips, brown eyes warm and soft. “Don’t retreat, yeah?”

Athena can’t help the sigh that escapes when Janey’s lips press against hers. Reassurance and safety bleed through the kiss and Athena knows, under everything, that this is right, that Janey is right for her. She feels fingers slip under her shirt; they ghost over the muscles of her stomach, and make their way to her back. Janey’s palms settle under her shoulder blades and the press of each fingertip is like a spark to Athena’s senses. 

She relaxes into the embrace, opening her mouth to a gentle tongue and reaching up to run her hands through Janey’s short bangs. Just as she manages to tug a bottom lip between her teeth, sucking a little, Janey pulls away from her. “Wait, there’s actually like a rule or two-” 

Athena opens her eyes and is mildly pleased by the dishevelled hair and swollen lips of the woman before her.

“-Oi, don’t look so smug!”

A laugh tumbles from Athena’s throat and it dispels any of the nervousness left in her. It’s the first genuine laugh she has had in days and the look of joy that crosses Janey’s face at the sound is like an invitation, it says ‘there it is, that’s all I want’, and asks ‘will you go there with me?’

Athena pulls her into a slow, heavy kiss, which says ‘yes, yes, god yes’, and heats up rapidly when her palms caress puckered skin and Janey tugs at her shirt. They part and crash back together as the shirt is thrown aside. Athena grinds her hips down, encouraged by Janey’s hands, and feels the junker’s moan vibrate into her mouth. She smiles, withdrawing. “Okay, shoot; what are these rules?”

She watches with satisfaction as Janey struggles for a moment to remember, and rocks her hips a little. Janey’s eyelids flutter. “Yeah, right um...”

Nails dig into Athena’s back as she repeats the action, slow and drawn-out, and she doesn’t miss Janey’s sharp draw of breath. The blonde's eyes snap open. “Safe word!”

“Safe word?” Athena stills.

“Yeah, like in case one of us goes too far. Say the safe word an’ it stops.” 

Athena decides it is a reasonable concept. “Right, uh what is this word?”

“Ah...” Janey’s eyes flick over Athena’s shoulder before returning quickly. “Spanner?”

Even Janey’s face is unsure as the word leaves her mouth, and the cringe of regret in her expression makes Athena laugh for the second time that night. “Okay…not going to comment. And the second rule?” 

Janey points at Athena’s chest, face suddenly hard. “No bloody puns.”

Athena’s smile turns into a grin.

“No. I’m serious, ‘Thena. Seriously.”

And Athena can’t help herself; she leans forward and kisses the stern expression from Janey’s face, while grabbing a fistful of the blanket and drawing it between them. She breaks away, trying to keep her voice impassive when she states, “I’ve got it covered.”

Janey looks down at the DAHL issue cover and groans, “Ugh, Atheenah.”

Athena smiles and kisses her again, hands moving to cup that soft, scarred face. “What? I don’t see how it mattress.”

Then, suddenly, Athena is being tipped over. Her back hits the bed and a warm, familiar weight settles on her front. Looking up, she sees blonde hair and broad shoulders haloed by the dim lights. Janey pokes her side. “Alright mate, you just lost the privilege of first go.”

“Oh come on, Springs-” 

“Nope, my turn now. Pay attention, my dear lady.”

It would be easy enough to flip their positions; Athena knows her muscle is double on the moon and Janey’s lithe body isn’t exactly the strongest, as toned as it is. However the temptation is chased away by the lips that begin trailing town her throat.

Athena sighs and closes her eyes. Her hands instantly go for Janey’s hair, but as soon as they find purchase beneath her headband, teeth clamp down on her neck and sharp pain bursts under the skin. It’s embarrassing how quickly Athena’s hiss turns into a moan, and she looks up when her hands are suddenly pinned above her head.

“Did I say you could touch?” Janey hovers over her and Athena’s heart pounds when she sees the junker’s expression, dark and commanding.

“I-no, but-” she stutters when a hand runs up from her waist to her chest, the touch is gentle but powerful. A thumb teases the underside of Athena’s bra and causes goosebumps to race across her skin.

“Then don’t.” Janey’s voice is hard and it travels straight to Athena’s core. “Otherwise you’re gonna be in trouble…”

The threat is whispered into her ear and Athena struggles with the spike of desire that flares at the words. She and Janey’s physical time together is often as rough as it is loving, but words have never been much of a factor before now. Athena manages to make a note to ask Janey why, before thought becomes a lot harder when those lips seal back on her neck and her bra is shoved upward.

Janey trails over her throat, palming her chest and humming into her skin, the soft vibrations make her flush and gasp beneath the blonde. Eventually, the junker moves down and Athena chews her lip as the she latches onto her breast. Smooth pleasure follows the path that Janey’s tongue traces, and Athena can only stare while the blonde attends to her chest with the same care as she would her lips. Athena clenches her teeth to keep back the moans building in her throat, not wanting to let on how much she’s enjoying this.  

The grip holding her hands disappears and Janey’s weight shifts so she's no longer straddling her; a knee nudges Athena’s thighs and she lets her legs fall open. Janey glances up at her as she switches from one breast to the other, a smirk playing on her lips, “Mm, so bloody eager.”  

Athena swallows. She can’t think of anything smart to say back so she just closes her eyes and focuses on the tongue now tracing up to her collarbone, up her neck. Janey hones in on a particular spot beneath her ear and Athena guesses she’ll be wearing the hood up on her scarf tomorrow. This, combined with the thumb rolling over her breast, pushes the last coherent thought from her mind, and she’s suddenly drowning in need. So when a thigh rubs slowly over her underwear, Athena gasps and doesn’t think before reaching for Janey’s hips.

The second her fingers meet the waistband of Janey’s boylegs, teeth sink into the junction of her neck and shoulder. Hard.  

This time, Athena can’t contain the groan, or its volume. She feels Janey smile against her.

“Enjoying that huh?” Janey’s thigh stops moving and Athena tries to buck her hips, desperate for friction, but the blonde’s weight pins her. There’s a sharp nip at her jaw. “Misbehavin’ on purpose? You ratbag.”

And then the biting continues, down her throat...

“Mm, shit you taste good.”

…and over her chest. Athena’s moans begin to fall endlessly…

“That’s right, so keen for me to mark you up, aren't ya?”

…and there is a sharp graze over each of her ribs, deep enough to send a throb rushing between her legs, but not hard enough to break the skin. Janey follows a consistent process; there's teeth and pain, then sucking pleasure and finally warm, wet caresses. Moving slowly, so fucking slowly.

“Huh-Springs…please.”

Athena’s hands are apparently allowed to explore Janey’s back now, and she does so, scratching down the long, wiry muscle, trying to distract herself from the sensations overloading her body. Janey’s lips bandaid the pain every time she finishes a spot on her torso, gradually making her way down the assassin’s stomach. She spends what seems like an aeon scraping and mouthing over Athena’s hipbones.

“Sorry, darl, you broke the rules.”

The torture continues, and Athena wonders if this should even count as punishment, but she doesn’t dare suggest any alternative as Janey captures the edge of her underwear between her teeth. Athena can only take one glance of the junker pulling back the red material, gaze devious and eyebrow cocked, before she has to squeeze her eyes shut.

“God, Janey…” Her head hits the pillow and she can’t help the arch of her back as a feather touch skates over remaining fabric covering her, tracing her outer edges. She grunts in complaint.

“Mm, so wet already,” Janey murmurs, voiced muffled by cloth as she drags the underwear away. Once the garment is flung from Athena’s ankles, she feels Janey’s nose press into her stomach, just above her short curls.

“So ready for me to slip inside…”

Janey’s words breathe over her, hot and close.

“To fuck ya hard, curling my fingers over an’ over till you can’t remember your own name…”

Athena bites her lip at the clench of muscle Janey’s words draw from her. Kisses begin to pepper her thighs, mouthing and tormenting their way upward in incredible, agonizing trails of fire.

“And when you’re close, so close you’re beggin’ me to finish ya, y’know what I’m gonna do?”

Janey finally makes it to the swollen folds between her legs and Athena’s breath shudders as she’s spread with harsh hands. Janey continues the biting as with the rest of her body, teeth and lips teasing over her, and it takes all of Athena’s will not to grind herself against Janey’s face. Tongue strokes pass everywhere but her clit, and every now and then the muscle pushes past her entrance in shallow, frustrating thrusts. Janey keeps a constant pace, almost as if this were a test of endurance to see which one of them will break first, and Athena clings to the hope that, surely, Janey can’t do this forever.

Well, she certainly fucking tries to.

Because Athena’s legs are tense and trembling, mind cloudy with desperation, by the time the junker pulls away. She glances down to see Janey tuck her hair back into her headband, swiping the blonde strands out of her face, the bottom half of which glistens in the light. The image does nothing to help.

Janey catches her stare and Athena moans when the blonde slowly licks her lips before leaning back down.

“I’ll take you into my mouth…” Janey continues her narration, eyes locked to Athena’s. The words are hot against her and she grabs a fistful of the sheets.

“…sucking and biting with every deep thrust, till ya come so strong you can see the bloody stars.” 

And with that, Janey’s lips finally seal over Athena’s hard bundle of nerves and two fingers quickly drag through her folds, easily entering her straight to the knuckle. Athena arches into it and a growl tears up her throat, “Argh, fuck!”

Janey sets a brutal pace that has her panting and quivering in seconds, and low in Athena’s belly, the pleasure builds in a messy, tingling throb, waiting to spread. She’s filled again and again, overwhelmed by fluttering muscles and the involuntary curl of her toes when Janey hits a spot particularly sweet. She isn’t exactly conscious of the words leaving her mouth, nor does she have the state of mind to make them sound more like demands rather than pleads.

She starts rocking her hips to meet Janey’s thrusts and moans when teeth scrape the hood of her clit. Then Janey is speaking again, telling her all the things she wants to do to her in that low, commanding voice, and suddenly it’s too much. She squeezes her eyes shut. “Janey I…”

Words fail and she comes with such force that she cries out in relief; a loud, choked sob of bliss. Release floods through her, breathing becomes shaky and shallow, and with every clench around Janey’s fingers, euphoric warmth rolls over her body. Janey gently soothes her through the waves, long fingers encouraging more and more from her till there’s nothing left, and it’s her voice that brings Athena out of the haze.

“So…”

Athena opens her eyes as Janey smoothly slips out of her and starts lazily crawling back up her body, lips trailing over the purple marks scattered across her skin. Those lips eventually take hers in a slow kiss and Athena sinks into it, too exhausted to offer much in return. Janey settles on top of her, cheek pressed to her sternum.

“How was your first lesson then?”

Athena reaches to run her fingers through Janey’s hair, playing with the streak of pink and lightly scraping her nails along the blonde’s scalp. She’s tired and still not very intuitive with the whole ‘touch’ thing, but she’s paid attention and knows from a few weeks ago that this is a sure-fire way of making the junker purr.

“Informative,” Athena states, slightly out of breath, and then adds with a smirk, “I have an admirable teacher.”

Janey smiles up at her and brushes a hand over the skin above Athena’s breast, eyes half-lidded and playful. “Mm, flattery will defs get you everywhere, ‘Thena. Care to share some of this info?”

“Hell yes.” Athena moves to cup Janey’s face and keeps her tone serious as she declares, “Puns…equal great sex.”

“Aw, shit,” Janey groans, forehead dropping to Athena’s chest in a thud, and choppy hair shifting with the rise and fall of Athena’s laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet, another one down! 
> 
> I'm still taking submissions for the Jathena AU fic, so flick me an idea either on here or on tumblr. I'm over at andorzebra.tumblr.com 
> 
> ps. I'm currently dying because of the Jathena in tftbl :')


	8. Diving and Deals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just lessons all round in this chapter.
> 
> *Warning this story has adapted to the events of tftbl, and so following chapters won't be 100% consistent with the previous ones (also, spoilers, obviously).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy guys, I'm BACK. This chapter is a bit longer than the rest. I indulged myself seeing as I haven't been able to do much creative writing during term. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy and please let me know what you think :)

**Diving**

_The first time Janey goes diving, Athena gets a concussion._

 

The water is warm and thick around Janey’s calves, and it swirls slowly as she kicks her legs back and forth. She watches her toes through the steam coming off the surface and smiles at how weird they look magnified and slightly pruned. But she can’t bring herself to lift ‘em out and dry off for a while. ‘Cause the temperature in this exact pool of natural spring is perf for her scars; warm enough to sooth the puckered skin up her left side, rather than cause her pain.

Which is a relief because her scars seem to be in a constant state of irritation these days thanks to Pandora’s ruddy weather. 

And sand. 

Damn she hates the sand. 

But that statement wavers in her mind as she eases herself off the edge and into the water, glancing briefly at the sky when a cloud passes over the open roofed cave. Soft, muddy silt caresses her heels and the balls of her feet when she comes to rest in the shallow end of the pool. She sits back against a rocky outcrop, board shorts keeping her skin from harm, and finds herself neck deep, gaze directed toward the other end of the pool. It’s a good three metres to the bottom over that way. 

When Athena had first bought her here, blindfolded and unamused by a pun about ‘springing a surprise’ on her, the gladiator had swum down and bought up a handful of black, silty sand to prove to her that it wasn’t a bottomless pit. Athena’s evidence had been complete with a triumphant grin and a fan of blue hair plastered to the side of her face. 

And that was how Janey began the process of learning how to swim, probs being the most reluctant student in the history of ever, while also having the most impatient teacher in the history of ever.

But somehow they’d managed it over the last month. Athena had chosen a good spot, with water drawn deep enough from the ground to actually be clear and, well, survivable, and hidden in a place of ‘strategic advantage’ where trip wires could be laid out to warn them if anyone was coming. That last point was more for Athena’s peace of mind than hers. Janey didn’t reckon anyone else knew about this place, otherwise, knowing Pandora, there’d probs be a big advertising sign out front with a fiver entrance fee. 

SPLASH! 

Janey looks to her left at the noise and sees Athena pop up in the plunge pool, arms crossed and teeth set in a kinda maniacal grin; clearly enjoyin’ the challenge of seeing how long she can last this time in the freezing water. Janey doubts she’ll ever understand the pleasure Athena gets out of swapping between the hot pool and cold pool and back again. Not when the massive warm pool is perfect right in the middle. Real perfect… 

Janey sighs as she tips her head back against the edge and closes her eyes, giving up on Athena’s kinda masochistic tendencies – nah wait, that isn’t the right word. Janey scrunches her nose. Athena gets pleasure from pushing herself harder and farther, till she’s running on the edge; Janey’s seen it, more than she’d like, but she doesn’t know if there’s a term for it. Adrenaline junkie seems too tame for what Athena does– did. 

A knot twists in her chest at the difficulty she has convincing herself that it’s really past tense. Knowing Athena’s leaving in a few weeks on a long delivery job for some company, ‘Fiasha’, that she’s never heard of before, only makes it harder to– 

“HAH!” Athena’s voice forcibly interrupts her thoughts. “Four minutes down for the count!” 

“Good stuff, hun,” Janey calls back quietly, not trusting her voice not to break. Athena obviously doesn’t hear her. Janey turns to watch her get out of the plunge pool and walk back over to the hot one, tank top and underwear plastered tightly to her skin. Janey admires the defined muscles of her back and shoulders for a moment before– 

SPLASH! 

Janey turns back round and reckons it’d be good switch her mind onto something lighter. Namely the nice memories she has of feeling Athena’s slick skin against hers and those strong arms supporting her, directing her, as she learnt how to swim. Admittedly those same things hindered her in other areas – concentration for bloody one. Honestly though, she still doesn’t understand why she needed to learn. She’s a mechanic from the damn moon, not some adventurer planning to wade through every toxic pool from here to the Frozen Wastes. 

But Athena had weirdly insisted, so she gave in. She likes to try and ease Athena’s anxiety over their ‘safety and survival situation’ whenever she can. Not that there really is one.

Janey twirls her fingers in the water. Maybe it’s one of Athena’s speaking-through-actions things. Even if it is, Janey’s got no clue what she’s tryna say. Sometimes it feels like they speak totally different languages… 

Her bangs begin to stick to her cheeks as steam and condensation tug them down. She reaches up and adjusts her headband to keep them away and is about to lean back again when–

SPLASH! 

Waves wash up against her neck in response to Athena’s sudden presence in the deeper end of the pool. Janey laughs despite herself when Athena’s head pops up, cheeks full. The former assassin sprays a stream of water in her direction. 

It falls hopelessly short.

“Bit premature there, ‘Thena.” Janey smiles as Athena swims towards her. “You sure you don’t needa see someone about controllin’ that?” 

Athena pauses, before grinning. “Hah. That a challenge, Springs?” 

Aw no, Janey knows that look. 

Athena dives beneath the water. 

Janey looses sight of her against the dark sand. 

Aw no, no, no. 

She edges back, hands trying to find the edge of the pool.

A hand slips around her ankle. 

“No, no!” Janey practically yells in her haste to try and leave the pool. It’s a useless effort against that grip. “Athena! No!”

She’s about to kick when she realises she’s not actually being pulled under. What…? The hand moves up her calf. Fingers begin to dance lightly over her scars and– OH. 

“No, no, Athenah-haha!” She can’t stop her laughter as Athena tickles up her body. “’Thena! No! Stopah-haha-I cahhan’t–” 

She throws out her hands against Athena’s shoulders when Athena breaks the surface and concentrates on her stomach. Dexterous fingers seem to be everywhere at once, and one hand unfairly focuses along the sensitive skin of her side. 

If she has any breath left, it’s quickly stolen by the look Athena gives her before she’s suddenly lifted up and out of the pool. 

Her back hits the dusty ground and Athena’s weight settles on her hips. Janey wriggles but finds her forearms pinned above her head. 

“’Thena,” she grumbles and looks around for something to use to her advantage as sand sticks itself all over her skin. She sees her towel and kinda wishes she’d landed on that. But when she looks back up at Athena with a pout, all complaints die in her mouth. 

‘Cause Athena’s tank top has ridden up on an angle, and the abs running down her stomach are showing all hard and defined and heaving and wet and… 

Shit. Will she ever get used to that?

The view disappears as Athena leans forward, and Janey’s breath catches at the feeling of strong hips shifting over her. 

Blue eyes appear before hers, half-lidded and looking down at her. Athena’s lips are slightly tilted in a smile, and Janey leans up almost unconsciously. She can feel Athena’s breath warm and inviting on her skin as she closes her eyes. Lips brush against hers, once, twice, and – bloody hell she can’t lean up any further to capture them. She’s about to complain about this, but then teeth pull at her bottom lip and a moan curls up her throat instead.

“I think this is pretty controlled,” Athena murmurs, and Janey can feel it so close but so far. “Don’t you?” 

Then the warm breath disappears and Athena shifts back. Janey opens her eyes. She can feel the heat rise up her neck as Athena stares down at her, arms crossed smugly. Arms crossed… 

She smirks and, with her newly freed arms, she quickly pushes herself up till Athena is sitting in her lap. 

Janey watches Athena’s grin disappear real quick when she runs a hand over her tanned abs – shit they feel good – up and around her back, and draws the two of them closer together. She savours Athena’s intake of breath, and she makes a point to slowly splay her fingers over her spine as she leans down. 

“I reckon,” she whispers, looking into Athena’s eyes and watching a blush spread over her cheeks. Bloody adorable. “That was more like teasing, my dear lady.” 

She smiles that last part and takes Athena’s cheek in her free hand, lifting her jaw up so their lips can finally meet. The kiss is only light at first, brushes of wet skin with mingling breaths as heavy as the doubt between them. But when they connect fully – determined and breathtaking – Janey has to swallow the ache in her throat to concentrate on the lips under hers, and the gasp she just felt against her mouth.

Because Athena’s lips are full and smooth and warm against her and Janey is surprised when they part so quickly, gently, to let her in. But she doesn’t question it. She just moves her hand behind Athena’s head and takes all she can get, tilting them forward till Athena's arms circle around her. And she feels Athena kiss her back so soft and committed and open that she can’t help but dig her fingers into tanned, wet skin, so real and firm under hers and–

The knot in her chest suddenly bursts. 

And she chokes a sob into Athena’s mouth. 

Because this is when she feels it. 

This is when she knows Athena loves her.

When the tie between them is so obvious, in the journey of Athena’s lips and the heavy excitement of her breath, in the openness of her shoulders and the inviting spread of her arms, in the display of her bare chest and the offering of her vulnerable neck; laying it all before her, not holding anything back. 

It’s a performance of ‘I love you, I trust you’. 

And Janey wishes Athena could say it out loud, just once to make it real. But it’s taken two years to get to this point and shit knows how long it’ll take for Athena to get to words. And it’s not fair and she’s scared and what if it’s a fluke and shit, shit… 

“Hon?” 

Janey feels Athena’s voice against her neck and realises she’s been pulled into a hug. Despite everything, this action alone gives her hope – it’s so far from the uncertain response Athena would’ve had to her emotions when they first started fucking, dating, all that time ago; beginning their desperate attempts to try and live in parallel.

She tightens her arms around Athena’s back and she can sense that Athena’s compulsive uncertainty has grown since then into something more like confused acceptance – she knows Athena still doesn’t understand her feelings, can’t reciprocate them to the same degree. But at least she never shies away from them now, never says ‘no’, and Janey tries to convince herself that’s enough. 

“Sorry, darl,” she mumbles into Athena’s hair. “Just…gonna miss ya.” 

She blows out a breath and lets herself feel the quick tense in the thighs around her, and she wonders what it means. 

“…I’ll miss you too, Janey.” Athena’s voice is quiet and Janey focuses on how the tone of it changes when saying ‘Janey’ rather than ‘Springs’. It’s lighter, more fragile; something dear.   

“To the moon and back?”

Athena laughs, deep and shoulder shrugging and Janey feels it everywhere. An’ she remembers the night some months ago when they’d both had a few too many shots of Flamin’ Rakk at the Purple Skag, and Athena had reckoned it was real important to declare several times that, ‘Fuck, I’d follow you to the moon and back, Springs. Hah, bring it!’. 

It wasn’t till they’d gotten home that Athena remembered neither of them could go back to Elpis anyway.

Janey is pulled out of the memory as Athena draws back from the embrace. Her choppy blue hair has dried a bit and it frames the outline of her face. Janey watches her smile a little crookedly, eyebrows drawing up and together. “Yes, Springs, to the moon and back.”

With that, Athena stands and offers her a hand. Janey takes it and tries to shake her thoughts while she shakes the sand from her arms and legs. When she’s done wiping herself as best she can, she notices Athena is standing with her hands on her hips, looking up at the ledge sticking out above the warm pool. Athena grins at her. 

“You’re ready for your final lesson.”

“That so?” Janey raises an eyebrow. “Kinda thought I’d graduated.” 

“Not quite.” 

Athena takes her hand, laces their fingers, and Janey finds herself led up one side of the cave till they’re standing on the ledge overlooking the pool.

“Diving! Final lesson,” Athena announces. 

Janey rubs the back of her neck.

“Diving as in…like junk diving?” Janey’s been junk diving all throughout her life, looking for salvage and other bits, but she doesn’t really get how that’d work in water.

Athena seems to realise this after a second. “Oh, uh, sorry. No, diving in this situation is entering a body of water, potentially from height, in a safe and efficient way.” 

Athena brings them to the edge and lifts her arms to form a kind of long triangle, palm over hand at the end. Janey reluctantly mimics the stance after Athena gestures to her. 

“’Thena, I don’t really–” 

“Now, the most important thing when diving headfirst is knowing your water depth. If you don’t know that, always jump feet first. Better to break your legs than your neck. We’ll be fine here though.” 

This does nothing to reassure Janey. 

“So…I defs have to go underwater then?” If she’s honest, it’s more the head-being-underwater thing that freaks her out rather than the breaking-bones thing. She managed to put up with the frightening sensation of having the world dulled around her for the few lessons she had to, but she really thought they were done with that. 

“Its just water, Springs,” Athena states in her rough, rational, teaching voice; as if it’s the easiest thing. “Hon, you’ve been living on this planet for over a year now, you can’t tell me the unexpected doesn’t happen here. Because it does. A lot. And if you can see the situation before you get there, and if you know what to do, then you’ll survive. You can do this.” 

“Um…” Janey glances over the edge and sees the black-bottomed pool of steaming water. The afternoon sun reflects off the surface and bores sharply into her eyes. She steps back. Athena sighs. 

“Look, hon. I’ll go first okay? Watch.” Athena curls her toes over the edge, puts arms out in front, and Janey watches her intake of breath just before she bends her knees and jumps– 

TINK TINK TINK 

The trip wire. 

Athena slips. 

TINK TINK TINK TINK

Janey reaches out on instinct, but it’s not fast enough and she snatches the empty air where Athena’s arm was. It’s almost slow motion, as she watches Athena fall feet first, not far enough from the edge, head cracking against a rock on the way down, falling into the water like a ragdoll. Sinking. 

TINK TINK TINK TINK TINK 

Janey only glances up long enough to see a skag pup wander into the cave, trip wire and cans tangled around its legs, before she dives off after Athena. 

She hits the water unclean and painful. 

And sound becomes dull and echoey. And water shoves itself up her nose. And she realises she forgot to take a proper breath. 

But she clamps her jaw shut and forces her eyes open. 

Nothing. The ruddy black sand acts like a camouflage, disguising anything from view. Janey turns herself in a sluggish circle, desperate, eyes straining. 

She sees a flash of blue in the fragmented sunlight. 

She swims after it. Her lungs are on fire. And shit she wants to cry out at the pressure change in her damaged ear. But she keeps going. 

Down, down. Her hands meet smooth flesh, an arm, a waist. Janey quickly wraps herself around Athena and pushes up from the bottom.

And thank shit water makes you lighter ‘cause Janey struggles as it is to lift Athena up above the surface. 

Suddenly sound returns and she gasps in a lungful of air. There isn't an answering one from Athena. She makes it to the edge. Manages to haul herself and Athena up. Notices the blood on her palm when she rolls Athena onto her side, sees the trail of it up Athena’s neck, where it vanishes into slick wet hair.   

“Athena? ‘Thena, honey. Please…”

Athena doesn’t move, isn’t breathing. Seconds are like hours. Janey’s body feels like it’s caving in on itself. 

Do something, dipshit! 

Janey lurches into action. She rolls Athena onto her back to start compressions, but then she feels it – the ribs under hands giving a mighty heave. She quickly pushes Athena back onto her side, and watches her cough up water and vomit and it’s not too much and Janey hopes that’s a good thing; her vision’s kinda blurring, she guesses that’s tears. Athena’s still not breathing proper. 

“’Thena?” She grips Athena’s shoulder, spreads a hand over her hip. 

Athena gasps.

And she’s finally breathing.

And it’s the most beautiful sound Janey’s ever heard.

Athena coughs up a bit more water before her eyes open fully. She groans and tries to move. Janey stops her gently. 

“Hold up, hun.” She wipes some of the hair from Athena’s face. “You hit ya head on the way down.” 

“Janey?” 

“Yeah, I’m here– no stay still, darl. Let your enhancers work for a sec.” 

“Hnnugh, why am I wet?” Athena squints up at her, blue eyes cloudy. 

“We’re at the springs.” Janey reminds her. “You were diving and hit your head.” 

“Hah, ‘Springs’.” Athena makes a weird attempt at quote marks using all her fingers. 

Janey can’t help but laugh. 

“Yeah, top stuff.” She wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “Lets settle down on the puns for a while, ay? Don’t want you hurtin’ yourself further.” 

And so Janey dries them both off, being careful to help Athena into a sitting position. They didn’t bring any rejuvenators, not that they can afford them, but they only have to wait fifteen minutes before the cut on Athena’s head seals itself, presumably to keep fixin’ up the stuff underneath. Janey helps her up and gets her haphazardly dressed. Athena’s balance slowly improves as they walk back through the cave. The skag pup is nowhere to be seen. Lucky for it. Janey still wants to strangle the thing. 

Outside it’s getting dark, and the nightly wind is already picking up. It bites at Janey’s skin with its sandy teeth. They make their way to the older-style Runner she found and brought back from the dead earlier in the year. 

She helps Athena into the passenger seat and is just doing the seatbelt up when a hand circles around her wrist.

“Janey?” 

“Yeah?” Janey pauses. “You right, hun? D’you need to–” 

“We should skinny-dip next time.”

Janey snorts. 

“Aw hell, ‘Thena, why don’t you say these things when ya not concussed?” She grins, but sees Athena is clearly still waitin’ for an answer. Wow, she really is out of it… Janey quickly checks her pupils; dilated, but the same size. Phew. “Soz. But yeah sure, why not ay?”

“You swear?”

“Yes, I swear.” Janey plays along as she finishes with the seatbelt.

Athena narrows her eyes, serious. “To the spoon and back?” 

“Yeah, hun, to the moon and back.” 

Athena smiles contently, like this just fixed all the problems on Pandora, and Janey kisses her lightly on the forehead before getting in round the other side of the Runner. The drive home is quiet through the windswept commons, save for the hum of the engine and the sound of feasting skags in the distance. Athena only asks twice who Janey is, and how someone so cute is really her girlfriend. 

* * *

 

**Deals**

_The first time Athena punches a hole in the wall, Janey comes up with a compromise._

 

“I just don’t get why you lied, Athena. Do– did you even _say_ you loved me to Fiona?” 

“…No.”

“Shit.” Janey runs a hand through her bangs, wipes it down her face. “Well… _do_ you love me?”

“I…yes, Janey.” Athena feels like the hallway is closing in around her; feels like the dirt and blood covering her skin is sinking through her flesh to wrap around her heart. She can’t breathe. Just finish the sentence. “Of course.”

“Then– Then why’d you do it?”

“I didn’t have a choice.” Athena’s voice is forceful as she tries to build a mental wall, prop herself up. But she’s tired, so tired after the long journey home from Sanctuary. And she can feel _it_ ; the storm of anger and confusion and conflict. It’s rising from her stomach, scoring up her throat–

“Bullshit, Athena. You always have a choice.”

– and she’s too exhausted to stop it.

“Argh!” Rage takes her and she lashes out. She strikes the wall by Janey’s neck. The flimsy metal moulds around her fist, splinters, and swallows her hand till she hits the concrete behind it.

Athena’s shoulders heave. She can feel the blood weeping from the torn skin of her knuckles. It doesn’t hurt. She glances over to see Janey’s eyes are shut, body stiff. She breathes out and in the silence she watches Janey look up slowly, eyes big and brown; a rabbit before a skag.

“No. I don’t.” Athena drops the words callously, straight into Janey’s face. “Do you know what it’s fucking like, Springs, to have a constant thirst for adrenalin and blood running through your veins, telling you to kill, kill, _kill_ , till nothing’s left? Huh? Can you imagine what it’s like trying to turn that off? Give it up, cold-turkey? To just deny _everything_ that you are?”

Athena withdraws her fist; it’s starting to throb. She steps back and spreads her arms. “Hell, I can’t even remember a time when I could look at a person without envisioning how I’d do it; how I’d take their life and _god_ how satisfying it would feel when I did.”

Janey’s eyes flash and Athena realises she’s smiling. She lets it die. “And to be asked to choose between that and the only person I’ve ever loved since my little sister di–died–” She chokes on the word because ‘murdered’ burns itself on her tongue instead and–

There’s an intake of breath from Janey.

Athena falters. She realises it’s the first time she’s actually said the word ‘love’ to her. Fuck. She begins to throw barriers up in earnest, because shit that’s too real for her to deal with when she’s feeling like this. One problem at a time, soldier.

She swallows, tries to ignore the way Janey has glued herself to the wall, and unconsciously tugs at the chain around her neck. The action has already become a reflex in the two days she’s been wearing it. She grips the silver engagement ring strung between her clavicles, and forces her voice in to something cold and sharp as steel. “So no, Janey, I don’t have a choice. Not when I know I’ll never be able to live without either of those things.”  

Her grip tightens on the ring. She still isn’t certain how they went from staggering toward the bedroom, with Janey in her arms, whispering the name ‘Mrs Athena Springs’ low and husky in her ear while running her hands down to grip her ass, to this confrontation in the hall. And that confusion only makes her more agitated, because clearly she– _they_ aren’t ready for this, and somehow that makes her chest tighten.

She doesn’t realise how hard she’s pulling on the chain till the clasp at the back snaps. Thick, warm metal slinks itself down her neck to hang from her fist.

Janey glances to the chain, then back up at her, lips tight.

And Athena doesn’t know what to do in the following pause where Janey’s breathing feels like sandpaper against her skin. So she stuffs the ring and chain into the pocket of her undone pants and hikes them up to leave. The urge to run and strike and immerse herself in battle is pounding through her body, and she needs to get out of here.

She manages to take a few controlled steps before Janey unfreezes. Long fingers wrap around Athena’s arm but flinch away when she turns.

There are tears in Janey’s eyes. Athena doesn’t know what emotion pushes them down Janey’s cheeks. Fear? Probably. The word ‘monster’ flashes in her head.

“Hun– ‘Thena.” Janey visibly calms herself; straightens her spine, wipes her cheeks, puts on a fake smile of…reassurance? Maybe. “Don’t go. You’re never not welcome in your own home– our home. It’s alright, just…go take ya shower. I’ll sort dinner out.”

Janey edges past her and Athena can see that she’s shaking.

Splat. 

Athena looks down to see a drop of blood on the worn floorboards. She refocuses and notices the trail of red running down her fingers from her knuckles. With every throb, a fresh swell of blood drains down, seeking the easiest path toward the ground–

Splat. Splat. Splat.

Athena breathes out and physically feels the fight leaving her with each drop. Exhaustion rolls over her in its place. She brings her fist to her chest, lets the blood change direction down her arm, and somehow turns her feet to walk down the hall.

The bathroom door swings away easily under her hand. The light is too bright in her eyes. She turns it off and gets undressed. Any concern about how sharp her ribs feel is distant and nonessential; she’s had worse. The throb in her fist is lessening. Her enhancers are already taking over, directing her skin to self-suture back together. The crawling itch of it used to unsettle her. Now it’s just a message; her body informing her brain that it’s doing its job.

She works her hands over her belt and her combat pants hit the floor with an abnormal ‘chink’. Dully, Athena bends down and fishes through the pocket. Her fingers wrap around the chain. She pulls it out and manages to stop the ring before it glides off.

In the shaft of light spilling through the doorway, she can see the clasp is broken. Regret digs behind her eyes at the sight, and so she drops the chain back atop her pile of clothes. She pulls her sports bra over her head, remembers to remove her underwear, and closes the bathroom door with indifference.

It’s a long shower in the dark. She washes and washes the dirt from her body till the hot water cuts out. After that she stands with the showerhead directed away, too tired to think to turn it off. At some point she hears the door open, watches distorted light spill over her ankles briefly before it shuts again. She turns the shower off.

Wet and dripping, she steps out and flicks the light on to find a towel that isn’t too damp. A fresh one sits on the sink, next to a set of clean pyjamas. Athena doesn’t remember seeing them when she entered. How long ago was that? 

She dries herself and grows fatigued from seeing so much clean skin. Clean skin means the mission is over, and her body can stop fighting so hard to keep her alert and awake. She wonders if Janey has concluded the same; after all, the mechanic always guides her to the shower first thing after a welcome-home kiss so perhaps– 

The thought of kissing halts Athena’s thoughts. This gives regret room to try and crawl back in. It doesn’t succeed. She’s too exhausted to feel even that. Her towel drops. She goes to pick up the nightshirt on the sink and sees her chain sitting on top of it, clasp fixed and engagement ring strung through.

She picks it up and reads the writing engraved inside the ring:

‘My dear lady’

She pauses and tries to think about her next move, but is too tired. So she puts the chain back on and lets the ring settle against her sternum. She gets dressed.

* 

Dinner is silent. But the food is good; best Athena’s had since she was captured. Only she’s had since she was captured, now that she tries to remember.

She eats two serves, starts on a third – Janey knows to cook enough for five by now, when they can afford it – and she spends most of that time focused on her plate, unable to look up at Janey sitting next to her.

She’s just finishing off the last few mouthfuls when she feels a socked foot brush against hers. It’s so brief that she can’t tell if it was intentional or not, but it prompts her into action anyway. She glances over to Janey’s plate, where Janey is still picking through her first serve, and decides things are safe enough to try…

She slowly reaches under the table for Janey’s hand where it rests on the mechanic’s thigh. There’s no resistance when she tries to hold it, only the barest pause in the movement of Janey’s fork. The calloused skin feels cold and limp against hers. Athena waits a few moments…

Nothing.

She’s about to withdraw, but then Janey’s hand finally closes round hers. Their fingers lace together.

Athena takes it as good sign. 

*

For the next few days, Athena concentrates on regaining her strength. Janey doesn’t bring up delivery jobs or even merc work during this time, in fact she doesn’t talk much at all, just draws up blueprints when she’s home from the garage. Athena isn’t sure how to approach this behaviour, or whether she even should. However she’s relieved of the concern when, just as she’s getting restless, Janey gives her a job, saying she’s keen to start up jewellery making again, like she was doing with kraggons back on Elpis.

So Athena spends the next week hunting all manner of creatures; skags, rakk, anything that moves really – and doesn’t have the capability to fire back at her. Though if a vehicle full of bandits happens to drive past and fire upon her first…well.

She takes pleasure in this task on the whole. It keeps her bloodlust sated and gives her something to channel her energy into, but it leaves her mind somewhat bored. Scoping out and shooting up rakk nests isn’t nearly as strategically challenging as clearing out bandit camps. But she appreciates it as much as she can.

At night, Janey leaves the bedroom door open, but Athena sleeps on the couch of her own volition. She doesn’t want to wake Janey with her early departures and late arrivals, stinking of sweat and skag blood. And besides, the bedroom feels too…unsettling right now.

In the snatches she is at home, Athena knows Janey’s working on something – she’s aloof and reserved, and spends all her time in the workroom below the house. Which is odd, because Athena knows most of her projects reside in the main garage. 

But she doesn’t question it as she brings home her catches each day, skinning and disembowelling them, prepping the meat to be eaten, laying the bones out to be picked clean, fleshing and washing the hides to be sold or tanned. She enjoys the preparation process, and the precision and focus it requires, but misses the challenge of the hunt and the satisfaction of the kill. None of her tasks seem to fit quite right. She wishes she could stop comparing every experience to the thrill of combat, it’s a useless exercise; nothing can match it.

But she concedes, at least, that this work is better than doing deliveries.

*

Late one night, she’s is roused from sleep by a hand on her shoulder. She blinks her eyes open and is perfectly still for a moment as she assesses her surroundings. Worn cushions under her side: the couch; shadow on the ground: light coming from behind her; long fingers leaving her shirt: Janey’s hand.

Athena relaxes, lets out a yawn and squints up at Janey where she stands behind the couch.

“Heya.” Janey’s voice is tired and low, and it pours over Athena like honey. She hadn't realised how much she’s missed it.

“Hi… Is something wrong?” Athena pushes herself up into sitting and tugs down her shirt. Her body feels sluggish. She’s still not used to sleeping heavily.

“No, it’s all good.” Janey lifts her hand like she’s about to run it through Athena’s hair, but she hesitates and withdraws it. “Got somethin’ to show ya, though.”

Athena hears the small smile in her voice, and she wishes it were lighter so she could see it. But Janey walks away and so she gets up and follows her through to the hall and down the stairs, noticing the grease-stained mess of her coveralls – not pajamas – and the weight of her steps.

Janey stops at the workroom door and Athena is careful not to bump into her. Janey turns, and this time Athena can see the smile she gives. It’s soft and nervous– no, remorseful? Either way, Athena wants to take her hand and build some sort of bridge between them. But Janey speaks before she can.

“Righty, here we go then.” Janey opens the door.

And Athena is guided into a fully equipped gym; junker and salvage edition. Her eyes quickly flick around the room, assessing the new addition to their home. Carpet and mats on the floor, mirrors on one wall to make the room feel larger, bench, barbells, weight plates, cables, a rack in one corner, a repaired treadmill in another, chin up/dipping bars… There’s even a punching bag decorated with a psycho’s mask and the words ‘meat bicycle!’

Athena gravitates toward the free weight stand on her left, where dumbbells are stacked in a vertical triangle. She spots one labeled ‘10kgs’ in Janey’s scratchy writing, and calculates the weight to around 22lbs Pandoran in her head. She hefts it, curls her arm up and enjoys the stretch of her muscles. She senses Janey come round beside her.

“We’ll do it in stages, hun.”

Athena notes the way Janey’s voice hits the walls and falls flat; the room is soundproofed. She puts the dumbbell down and looks up as Janey continues. 

“You were right.” Janey folds her slender arms, then lets them drop. “Cold turkey wasn’t fair an’…I’m sorry for makin’ you feel torn up inside ‘cause I couldn’t see that.”

There are tears in her eyes. Again. Athena steps forward and gently takes her hand. It seems to help, because she smiles. Maybe the tears are happy this time. God she hopes so.

She watches Janey’s throat bob in a swallow as she collects herself.

“An’ I– I know this is something you might neva be able to get rid of, an’ it’s something I have to accept that maybe I can’t fix.” Janey swipes a thumb over the top of Athena’s hand, and Athena squeezes back in response. “But it’s something we can tackle together. So how ‘bout a compromise? Still no merc work, but we’ll find something betta than deliveries. And when the ‘feelings’ get too strong, you can come down here and work ‘em off for howeva long ya need. I won’t disturb you. Y’know, except to make sure you don’t pass out from dehydration or nothin’…” 

Janey takes a shuddering breath. “Sound good?” 

Athena takes a second to process everything Janey has just offered, and she decides it’s not perfect but, “It’s a start, Janey.”

“Good.” Janey visibly relaxes and tugs her back toward the door. “Now, lets get to bed. I’m bloody knackered.”

Athena lets herself be led up the stairs and into their bedroom. She helps Janey out of her clothes, runs her hands over her pale skin, over the scars up her side, along her neck. She kisses her slow and heavy as they fall into bed, and tries to pour as much ‘I love you’ into the kiss as she can, till Janey’s forehead head nudges into her neck in exhaustion. She feels Janey sigh into her skin, just above her ring.

Athena moves them around till Janey’s back is against her chest, and she’s curled around the mechanic’s long body from behind. She tightens her arm over Janey’s hip, fans a hand over the warm skin of her stomach and kisses her shoulder blade, open mouthed and a little sloppy.

“I love you, Janey.” She murmurs into the fluffy hairs at the base of her neck.

But Janey is already asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY DID TALES HAVE TO FUCK IT UP SO BAD AND LEAVE US WITH THIS MESS TO FIX?????????
> 
> GOD
> 
> okay, rant over


End file.
